Sunday, December 26, 2010

Feminine Mystique


Life has put me through experiences that opened up my eyes on how complex the aspects of a woman’s life can be. One thing I have learned through all those years is that a woman often becomes a victim of her own passions. There are many facets to a woman’s life. No matter how she loved and was loved, she often falls into crossroads of choices, which may turn her life to ideal or worse.

Women are emotional creatures, although some may not show it, they are. As defined by their experiences, they are molded by their experiences, intellect and relations into the character that they became. Their caring nature often clashes with their convictions about how to lead their lives. While some seems to breathe success after standing long hours and compromising feminine duties in charging towards her pursuits, some may fall behind, happily caring for the family and love, which she believe to define the essence of her very existence. 

 The thing is, no woman has no story. A woman’s heart, a woman’s life is a deep well of mystery, which only a patient man can unravel, discover and embrace. 

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Last Song Syndrome




A dear friend of mine shared me this song and well...it's nice...very nice actually.


One and Only You – Parokya ni Edgar

It took one look
And forever laid out in front of me
One smile and I died
Only to be revived by you

There i was
Thought i had everything figured out
Goes to show just how much i know
’bout the way life plays out…

Chorus:
I take one step away
but i find myself coming back to you
My one and only, one and only you…ooh…
Now i know
That i know not a thing at all
Except the fact that i am yours
And that you are mine
Ooh
They told me that this wouldn’t be easy
And no
I’m not one to complain…
(Chorus 2X)

YOU..


Thursday, December 23, 2010

Happy Christmas

May the Christmas season Fill your home with peace, Your heart with happiness And your life with the best of everything.

It’s the time of love, It’s the time of peace, It’s the time of happiness, It’s Christmas time, for one and all!

I Wish that the good times and treasures of today Transform into the golden memories of tomorrow and inspire you always strive for perfection, in whatever you do Merry Christmas!

Let your Christmas sparkle with moments of togetherness, laughter and joy And may the year ahead be filled to the brim, with happiness and contentment. Wish you a Merry Christmas.

As you enjoy the food, deck up every nook and corner of your home and celebrate the togetherness... Hoping that the joy and festivities, continue in your lives, long after Christmas is over Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Sending across your way the gift of faith, the blessing of goodwill and the peace of Jesus’ love at Christmas and throughout the year!

Let the feeling of love Softly fill our hearts and minds. 


A little smile, a word of cheer, A bit of love from someone near, A little gift from one held dear, Best wishes for the coming year… These make a Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Simply Thankful


Our campus minister, who happened to be also my dear Spanish instructor, told me that being thankful to the littlest things in life will help me make a 360-degree turn, in terms of my perception of life. Being thankful for the clean air, for the tap water that reaches our  home, for the decent meals I share with my family in our dinner table, these things are often overlooked when appreciating life.

Many times, I have complained about the trivial things like the heat, the difficulties of learning to speak Spanish, NJ’s “toy installations” in the living room, the sweat and the remains of a good meal on my collar and pants. I always find it easy to complain about things, which sometimes makes me feel a bit discontented about my life. Although I have all the things I needed to thrive, I seem to have acquired a habit of complaining. This Christmas, I want to be more appreciative and thankful for everything that God has given me. I am thankful for the love that people has bestowed upon me. I am thankful for the true friendship that strengthened me. I am thankful for the people who have wronged me deeply, because they convinced me that somehow some way, God exacts justice where it is needed be, because in the end, I was the one who ended up polished and gleaming and happy. Things simply go back to where they belong. No matter how much difficulty, hardship or pain I have suffered, what’s important is the person that these things made me become – stronger, driven, better, though a bit feisty.

I have learned to look at the good things that come out of the bad things. I have learned to see hope in frustration. I have seen consequences with offenses. I have seen fairness.  For all these things, I am thankful.

Monday, December 6, 2010

A voc- A - bulary Lesson

I just got bored and so I thought of doing some vocabulary exercises using urban dictionary... so you know, I can learn some colloquial terms... then I thought of looking up this word I always hear from people who are angry, furious or mad at someone. I always hear this word...so I got my little fingers working and this is what I found...


"An A-hole is the worst kind of person. You cannot fully construct a meaning that fully encompasses what this vicious insult means. If you're an asshole, you are disgusting, loathsome, vile, distasteful, wrathful, belligerent, agoraphobic, and more. Assholes are human fecal matter. They are the lowest of the low. They transcend all forms of immorality. It is the very worst of insults; to be called an asshole is to have your very soul ripped apart and shat on. I say that the word "asshole" is the worst cuss word in the english language, worst than f*ck, sh*t, and c*nt combined."


-Eric Melech


take this TEST to know how much of an A-hole you are ... or NOT!

Friday, December 3, 2010

Mumbling


Sometimes, when I am surrounded by pure quiet, I think about how I made my life become as it is. I wonder how those years came by and changed what and how I perceive myself. In all those years, I have gained strength, courage, tiny bit maturity and other things I wish I can put into words. I just naturally learned to compartmentalize my life - file those memories I want to hold on, memories I cherish, and lock away the memories that I wish never to remember. I even thought if I had offended somebody. I wondered if I may have caused them pain and despair, deep enough to turn things or lose some part of them along the way. All I can do is hope, because I know the feeling of the one being hurt and changed forever.

One thing I like about aging is realizing that not all laws of nature apply in actual life. Sometimes, there’s no need to retaliate. Sometimes, there’s no need to act. Sometimes, there’s no need to fight. Because sometimes, time comes when all things wrong become right and everything that cannot be done will become a possibility. 

Fearless


Don’t be afraid when facing uncertainties. Look at it as a challenge that will give room for you to shine on your own. Do not allow second thoughts to cloud what a wonderful person you are. Never underestimate what you can do and what you can be. Avoid second guessing yourself. Just put your head on what you want to do with your life, stake your direction, pursue your aspirations and charge forward, strong and dignified, armed with sheer courage to protect what is meant to be yours. Own your life. Do not allow anyone to say or direct you to doing anything. You only have to answer for your life, you are the only one who has the power over it. Don’t let anybody else rule it for you. OWN IT! Live it! It is the only one you’ve got. 

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Heavy Load

Sometimes, in life, people either leave or are left behind. This is a normal part of life. It is easy to be hurt and be sad when we are the ones being left by the people who matter in our lives. On the other hand, people who leave either feel relieved or numb from the loneliness and emptiness that they are bound to face...

Friendships, love, relationships...leaving...these are normal parts of life. The load of dealing with life sometimes becomes too heavy to bear, and we need to shed some load to move on. Sometimes, we are compelled to make compromises to make situations in life bearable. I'd like to think that the time I spend with the people who mattered in my life is one that they will carry on...I hope that the memories I have built with them is something that they will always keep close to their hearts... that even when distance separated me from these people, I will always be remembered, I will always matter.

So when I meet these people once again, it's just like old times... no matter how we've changed.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Objectivist Ethics

When someone calls another person selfish, it is usually taken in a negative sense. But why? Is it truly bad to be concerned with yourself before anyone else? 


If I’m crossing the street with my friend and I see a car coming at us, would I be wrong to save myself and jump out of the way rather then pushing my friend out of the way and getting hit by the car myself? Why should I value another life over mine? Who would protect me better than I can protect myself? 


Fortunately, I’m not alone in believing that selfishness is not a bad thing. Ayn Rand believes in the Objectivist ethics as well. The Objectivist ethics says that the actor must always be the beneficiary of his action. It holds that man must act for his own rational self-interest. After all who will value your life better than yourself? The Objectivist ethics is often misunderstood. It is widely believed that Moral Cannibalism comes from the Objectivist ethics.Moral Cannibalism says that the only way one can advance oneself is by injury to another. Ayn Randbelieves in the contrary, he holds that the Objectivist ethics says that human good does not require human sacrifices and can’t be achieved by the sacrifices of anyone. 

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Brush with Death

In pagsuwayan Hindi, Bacacay, Albay PHILIPPINES, a careful tricycle driver was traversing the route going to the town proper of Bacacay when it was suddenly hit by a vehicle driven by a female drunk driver. Without that tricycle, the lady drunk driver could have gone straight down the creek. If her vehicle did not collide with the tricycle, she could have been the one who was tended in the hospital for gashes, x-ray appointments, bruises, punctures and anti-tetanus injections instead of the seven innocent people riding that fateful tricycle who were all simply looking forward to coming home to their families... all the lady drunk driver said was "sorry". Then I thought, will that "sorry" make up for the mothers and fathers that could have been killed in that fateful incident? Could that simple "sorry" make up for the lost leg or legs that could have been incurred by the passengers hit by the bumper of the drunk lady driver's vehicle? Could "sorry" suffice? I DON'T THINK SO. NOTHING EXCUSES ANYONE TO IDIOCY! I SHOULD KNOW, MY SON COULD HAVE LOST A MOTHER TODAY.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Blimey!


Why are we always blaming life about how bad it can get?
When we lose a game, do we blame the cards or do we blame ourselves?
Life is like this. or rather. Humans are like this, when something goes wrong, we need a scapegoat. We cannot take the blame, we are just beings that doesn’t work that way. It is like on the verge of death, you would rather pull someone else in and bring them to take the bullet.
We always tend to look for things such happiness, love, eternal health or more. We look into our hands, hoping to find these cards. Yet we can never find it. We put down the cards, and look somewhere else. Sometimes yes indeed we cannot find what kind of cards we want, for example we cannot make a full house with pairs, but doesn’t mean you will lose everything just because you only have pairs.
Its as simple as the desire for that specific card, or something in life. life is evil or whatever people want to refer it to, it just does not give everything you want, in fact, it may even take away "something" from you. Then, you end up chasing for that "something", run for it. But sometimes, with all the effort you've done, for some reasons, that "something" would’t come to you.
Then, there is always a plan, THE plan. when things don’t go as planned, then things aren't working out. or is it?

Sunday, November 21, 2010

My Green Treat!!!

You just seem to get what I want. And for my birthday, you managed to be right on point, giving me the best gifts --- in my favorite color and in my favorite flavor. I hope everything will work out for you this time...  Crazy but it's amazing what happens when the skies clear out,, all conflicts settled and issues are mended. All is better now. Good luck to you! Stay away from crazies ahright? I will see you though...SOON!

XoXo

Monday, November 15, 2010

Traffic Light



"while someone chose to break your heart, someone else is waiting to fix it. Don't be too hard on yourself, open up your heart to him. Give yourself the chance...give him the chance..."

Sunday, November 7, 2010

No Philosophy

No one can put a good man down...or in my case, a good woman.

I'd like to think that with everything on my plate, I did the right thing. Although at times, I am doing things blithely aware of the hurt and hassles of consequences, at the end of the day, I console myself that I did the right thing. This may sound snobbish or self-righteous but that's me.. I truly believe in karma...hopefully, by doing the right decision, even when that decision does not benefit me or serve what I want, I believe that my silent battles with sticking to the right thing will be duly rewarded...of remembered.

Sometimes, when I am really in trouble and I mean REAL trouble, it just happens that my problems seem to magically vanish.. fates play on your side. Then I realized, though at times you need to be unfair with yourself in the decisions you make, those silent sacrifices count. They are rewarded and some way somehow, it allows you to keep your ground. Though certain decisions won't serve your happiness, it serves a bigger purpose - it just showed what kind of a person you are - a person you can be proud of.

Years past, my sister told me I had no philosophy in life...whatever is that? Then now that I am writing this litany of mine, that's philosophy sister! some theory that you believe and live at.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Message of the Day


Friday, November 5, 2010

Crunch Time!

After taking the time to regain inspiration, strength and all other elements that a working writer needs to survive, I am up for some serious revamp. With my internship coming up, it got me all excited and jittery about what comes next. All I got is five months to finally earn that little certificate I have been working on for years. After that I will have a lifetime to enjoy. Hopefully I can make a good start with this mission of mine. After all, all great paths starts with that first step.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Can't stop smiling

everything is just so serene. for some reasons, I couldn't stop smiling. i feel so inspired. thanks for making me happy... my best friend. thanks!

Monday, October 25, 2010

Family ONE

“If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don’t, they never were.”

surprises surprises...hmmmm!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

I am Home


I have been away from my laptop for so long, but the time off was all worth it. I just came from a spiritual retreat, which I attended because it is a requirement for graduation in school. Never did I thought that the experience will blow me away. Never did I thought that I needed that time to be just still, alone in silence, opening up my heart to what my soul needs, listening up to the words I refused to hear from my own self.

My days are crammed with time for work, for school and for my son. During my idle hours, I prefer to plug my ears with my headphones so I can listen to some music. I thought I was listening to music for relaxation, but then I realized that I just want to refrain from listening to my own voice, which screams that I need to do something to settle all my unfinished business and go on with my life with no guilt and other unwanted and unhelpful baggage.

My 3-day spiritual encounters and reflections of my life made me realize that there are still more things that I should be thankful for, but for some reason, I tend to focus on the things that I want and I don’t have. But then these wants are but a scratch to what I already have. On its own, my life is complete and I got everything going for me, yet for some reason, I still manage to find things to complain about.

When I envy the lives of other people, I didn’t realize that my life is also worthy of other people’s envy. I never thought of it that way. Perhaps the time spent in seclusion with nothing but reflections, worship and prayer is everything I needed to bring back the peace in my life.

In my confessions, I have learned to forgive myself for all the faults I buried deep in my heart. As I kneel for forgiveness, I also have learned to forgive myself, I have learned that with all the pains and hardships in my life, the silver lining will soon appear and make me smile once again for brighter tomorrows. I have learned that no matter how long I went away, it is never too late to come home to my God, the ever loving, ever forgiving and ever understanding father I never had.

As I stepped off the bus and into the hustles and bustles of the city, I felt peace inside me. I felt light and it was so easy for me to smile to strangers. I am a new person now. I am better. As I realized that God embraces me with love in every breath and pain I take, I know I can survive it all. What else can beat that? Now, I don’t fear anything at all. I am finally HOME, and I am never going anywhere else again. 

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Painting is fun!


After having eggs for breakfast, my son and I thought of doing some painting. I just thought of an activity that he can do while I can have a luxurious hour surfing the net to manage some online correspondence. After an hour of doing the net surf, I was surprised to face this mountainous pile of wet paper, my son’s masterpieces. He had his toys, space ships and action figures drawn so I had his wet paintings hanged to get air-dried. I promised him that we would debut his work this afternoon, with all his doting grandmothers and grandfathers at bay. Now that’s a good time to get a round of ice cream and chips in the house.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

happy fwends


Yesterday, I spent the day laughing so much, I can feel my jaw aching for all the exercises and stretches it made. Yesterday, I spent the day talking about things in life, difficulties that I thought I will never survive, but flawlessly surpassed. Then I thought to myself, I can go on living with simple and meaningful times like this. It is the people I spend time with that make me feel better about my issues with life. It is the people that I bond with that make me feel I can do so much better and I am doing better than before. Sometimes, when I feel low and a bit uncertain about my actions, they seem to give me a mirror where I can see every aspect of my action, to which I will admit mistakes, commend good attitudes and be surprised at the things I did, good or bad. My harshest critics, my truth committee, my friends. I don’t what what’s in me but seems like I am a magnet for great friends. God knows I love ‘em, ‘cause I need them. I hope I manage to bring them same kind of joy that they give me in the littlest gesture, joke, advice and laughter. 

Friday, September 24, 2010

Best Sick Day


I am down with flu but the one thing I like about being this sick is that I get to get smoldered with displays of affection. My professors gave me the green light to go home, without marking me absent. My classmates offered to take me to the school nurse to take some medicine. My friends offered to take me home…and it meant going through an hour ride from the city to my home.

So even with this overwhelming aches and pains and even when I am tingling all over, I felt the rush of love and it tucked me warm in my own happy place. Thanks guys! You made my sick day one of the best days of my life. 

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

"Sick Day"


Today, my five year old woke me up at 2 AM complaining about muscle pain on his legs. I groggily scrambled to reach for the soothing liniment that I keep handy in my drawers to give him immediate relief. By morning, he asked me if he can skip school today because his leg hurts. I have learned that he was busy the day after. He spent his afternoon playing in the park and running around the garden playing with our neighbor’s kitten, which he frustratingly chased till dark.

Now, we are having breakfast. My boy curled up in a blanket while spooning his cereals. To me, this looks like an overacting kid who simply wanted to skip school on a lazy morning. Whoever did not pull this stunt when they were kids right? Seems like milk and cereals can do wonders to his spirits. He went into his usual lightning round of questions and so I realized he was okay. He figured that I figured that he was okay. So he ended up going to school anyway with me promising to answer more of his kid questions by the time he went home after school. I am bracing my quite rusty memory on that!

Friday, September 10, 2010

Sonnet 124

"If my dear love were but the child of state,
It might for Fortune's bastard be unfather'd
As subject to Time's love or to Time's hate,
Weeds among weeds, or flowers with flowers gather'd.
No, it was builded far from accident;
It suffers not in smiling pomp, nor falls
Under the blow of thralled discontent,
Whereto the inviting time our fashion calls:
It fears not policy, that heretic, 
Which works on leases of short-number'd hours,
But all alone stands hugely politic, 
That it nor grows with heat nor drowns with showers.
To this I witness call the fools of time,
Which die for goodness, who have lived for crime." --- Shakepeare


----> love doesn't come everyday. so when it finally comes knocking, take it, be open for it and grab hold of it...and then you see yourself making interesting and often foolish decisions in life.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Pride


A professor of mine mentioned that when the western culture screams “leave me alone”, the Filipino culture would say, “don’t leave me alone”. One distinct characteristic of Filipinos is always having companions in doing the most trivial tasks. A lady always needs someone to tag along with her pursuits, like the comfort room for instance. When buying a dress, she definitely needs the approval of her friends before deciding on which piece to take. On the other hand, men tend to court women through their friends. As the cliché goes, no Filipino men go into battle alone, they often use human shields…LOL!

After spending quality time alone, I realized that I didn't feel depressed, low or at loss at any thing. I was raised to be an independent woman who faces life’s challenges head-on, that means shopping alone, going to school alone, going to girl scout camping alone and more things I already forgot. Never was I in the habit of asking my friends to accompany me at doing something, unless we agree on doing something together, for practicality’s sake. Even when I treat my son on occasions, I am more comfortable going alone with only him and me, hand in hand. I was never the needy or clingy type, which is often misunderstood as cold or unfeeling or simply "suplada". It’s just that I am not in the habit of bothering people with my own business. Call it everything you want, but my going solo in most things that I do is my personal brand of pride...pride that whatever I have and whatever I will have, besides my family, that's all thanks to ME. Thanks honey for understanding that.

Solitude


Today, I have spent quality time with myself. I just realized that I am losing my balance at handling things and that maybe I am a little uptight about some things. So I went on a solo date with myself. I went to the cinema alone, dined and tested the menu of the Italian resto near my school, tried out some window shopping, debated on whether or not to cut my hair short…again. I was happy to have done those things, things that I used to do when I was single, when I had no obligations yet, when I was free in many ways. Trying to squeeze some Me-time in quite a hectic daily routine is difficult especially when you need to do many things... for the sake of responsibility and obligations. It’s not about whining. It’s just realizing that as I become busy of taking care of things, I often forgot to take care of Me. Sometimes, it is not a bad thing to do something selfish once in a while…as long as it keeps you happy, it keeps you sane and it makes you feel like YOURSELF under any strain. 

Friday, September 3, 2010

I don't Believe in Evolution

If evolution was true:


Mothers would have more than two hands. 


Fathers should be dapper


MOST males would have more "members".


as MOST females would have steel hearts...



Thursday, September 2, 2010

Bite me!

Yada-yada! Blah-Blah-Blah!


"It is better to remain silent and be thought of as a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

I stand by You


In the world of strangers, you will meet friendly and cold faces. with pure luck, you may find someone you can trust and trust you back. With chance, you will meet the person whom you can give your heart to, as you will be given his/hers back. Lucky and blessed are the people who find someone to love. In the world where millions of people exist, it's a wonder why we are fated to find one heart to match our own. One thought to battle with our own. One body to embrace life with. People may get tired of love and may choose to be done with it, but I believe that every love is worth a chance. No life is perfect...no Love is perfect...

So my LOVE, just reach out to my heart. Call my name and my heart will hear...let me wash away your fears. let me shelter you with my warmth. let me love you with all my heart. don't fear the future. you--me...it's everything that matters. I stand by you. I'm here for you.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Talking about "Alone"

I know there are people who think that the whole world revolves around them. I can't blame them if they are these world's narcissists...but to be asked to "leave me alone", that's deep.

Here's a piece of my mind:

"It's better be alone than be with someone who makes you feel alone."

Somebody's coming home soon...and somebody's gonna cry for sure.

Karma works in so many ways that you get exactly what you deserve and ask for.

Damn these narcissists..."leave me alone..." LOL!!!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Here is the road back to the old me


For the past few days, I may have been physically sick but 'twas the five days in which I have discovered the way back to my own self. Thank God for the people around me, I now re-discovered what I was and improved how I view the world. This world may have crushed me empty...for so long I struggled bringing back my old self, the lively, colorful, feisty and quite irresponsible me. All I am saying is that I may have suffered a great deal for the past few days but those were quite memorable and life-changing. Those days brought my back to ME.


cryptic huh? well that's how life is anyway. I may have suffered enough personal downfalls but it's up to me how I will rise above it, step on it and move forward with the life that I have. and I decide to embrace it fully, especially now that I have all the reasons to live...better reasons to look forward to waking up each day for a new day.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Self-centered

You wanna know the simplest meaning of being self-centered? Observe a toddler. Observe the way he or she constantly asks for things that will give instant gratification, without even bothering to give back anything in return.  Observe how he always serve and work only for his needs and convenience. As we people studying linguistics say, toddlers practices the most perfect first person "I" point of view in speech, and even in deed. It takes so much for them to change. Over time, children learn and improve this behavior. But there are people to gets stuck at this stage...making no bones of anything else but themselves when they are way past childhood.

“It is not because the truth is too difficult to see that we make mistakes... we make mistakes because the easiest and most comfortable course for us is to seek insight where it accords with our emotions - especially selfish ones.”

- Alexander Solzhenitsyn, Russian novelist, Nobel Prize for Literature (1970).

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Excuses Excuses


In life, you may complain about simple things like the heat or lengthy commutes. You can throw a fit over things like being ignored by the server in the fast food counter, which made you wait for hours just to grab a “fast” lunch, or just being ignored period. There are times when we get so easily pissed-off  by the most trivial things… like being asked to the nth time “are you okay?” when you are obviously not so let’s get our business done with. Now I know why some people sometimes act like jerks to unknowing bystanders…a nuisance.  But what can we do? We can’t help but feel miserable at times. My reason? I am sick with flu and I can’t beg off work, school or motherhood. At 39-degrees, I still have loads of paperwork and school runs to deal with. Bearing with niceties is real challenge when your headache drives you nuts. So give this woman a break will yah? Perhaps I should wear a shirt, “Beware: Jerk on the Loose!”

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Mornings Like This

I am glad to have welcomed this day with you. Thank you for being my comfort zone...for the longest time. My heart was fluttering like butterflies the entire time. I can't even remember the last time I felt anything close to that. I never thought I could feel something like that again. You brought out the bubbly, lively and giggly girl in me.You made me realize that there is more to my life, like you always did every time I needed a reality slap.

Our agreement will stay. But no matter what happens, my love for you my dear one will never change. Thank you for wiping off my tears, for listening to my pains and for loving me just the way I am. With that said, I can say we may be looking for more mornings like this, together, hand locked...together.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Simply Fair


I am a simple person with simple needs and simple means. I know how complex life can be, that is why I opted for a life with nothing but my basic needs. As a daughter raised by her patient father, I have learned that although life is not always fair, it is my responsibility not to be the cause of such conflict to the lives of other people; to the people that I love and even to the people I never knew. I was taught never to cheat as I would not want to be cheated. I was taught to be patient for everything will run its course when the time is right. 

Ultimately, I was taught that in my life’s simplicity, people may see value in things that I have and that these people may take from me. As I was taught to learn my place in every circumstance, I was also taught to stand my ground and fight for what is mine. 

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Silent Resilience

Why would anyone feel like a victim when there are no lost causes?

Self-pity is an excuse to do nothing. To appeal to sympathy for pity's sake is to seek affirmation of the choice to do nothing.

"I've been there, done that, and know suffering -- but it's all good. I'm still standing."

Monday, August 2, 2010

Got Get them Tigress!


I am keeping my fingers crossed. I have my life and my son’s future laid out in front of me and all I need to do is do according to plan. It feels good to have a life direction for a change. I just learned that if you want a life, do it your way. Don’t think of what other people will say. Think of what you have to say. Don’t think of what people will feel about that, because they do not have any hold to the future you want for yourself. Do not think of the past, because they are over and done with. Just keep your eyes on the prize and to everything that lies ahead. Focus, fixate, and claw your way forward. If I have to drag everything I have just to get a step ahead I will do it. without fear I will face everything - armed and loaded. 

Sunday, August 1, 2010

I have the Best Boss Ever


During the times that I was drenched in stress, there was my ever supportive boss offering prayers and help. I do not even have to say anything, I was understood. Of all the things that I have, I am thankful for this one person who was ever supportive about my crazy life. 

I must have done something right to earn such respect. So here’s to you boss, and to the job that I so love to do for you. Thank You!

Saturday, July 31, 2010

A Lesson of Respect


I am at peace. I know my place and my purpose in life. I know where life leads me and I know I will get there. My happiness, my joy, I know I deserve them all. I did not harm other people, ruin relations or bypassed any ties that resulted to everything I have. Now sometimes, people may disagree with me or disregard me, but they are part of life. Surely, people will see value in things that I have, and I respect that. I understand they may take from me, but everything that is taken always finds its way back.

In all my years, all I have learned is to give respect to earn respect, through good mature deeds. But while respect is earned, it may be given to those who needed it most. To those who are confused and uninformed, respect is given as they are yet to attain realization of facts and truths about things that relate to my life, to their lives. It is easy to throw blame and pass judgment at me, but they are meaningless to me. All I know is that people get what they deserve. So when opinions strike me or blame is thrown at me, I keep my stand. I may deserve that but I don’t pay much attention, because my respect is given to those who needed be. 

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

To Such a Whiny Little Pregnant Lady

I have been there...but I just realized how strong I was to not use my pregnancy to grab hold of the person I have done it with. I never did anything for anybody to take pity on me and never forced anyone to stay with me at any condition. I did not fear standing by myself... I never thought I was that confident and strong even during when my moral is kinda low...but what this woman does is L-O-W. Talk about impressions, I have peaked through the glam picture you projected and realized that you are all twisted inside and that is what makes me pity you.

Somehow, some way, I know you will be reading this because I know how your kind of mind works. You are always in doubt and in fear, which makes all your insecurities more pronounced. In a way, such manifestation will bring out all your ill attitude.And I will not take any offense from them because we both know that between us two, You are the one who is miserable... and I understand that, thanks for having better judgment.

Think about it...is this the life you want for yourself? Is this the kind of life to settle with? Now that deserves pity, isn't it?

So quit hating...you really are getting on my nerves...and I am quite sure you'll have more reasons to hate me more when I am "hulk" angry.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Nice Day


I guess I need to give myself a break. I dedicate this day for me. I have gone through a lot of stress last week. Lack of sleep, fun and company sure take toll on your buzz. After looking at how I did in my exams in school, I felt revived. Sulit na naman su tuition ko. Hahahaha! Why am I complaining anyway when the world is out there, waiting for me to come out. Maybe it’s what I need. Why do I even make myself miserable by thinking of other people’s problems, when I actually do not have any, not really! So there, I will go out and explore some possibilities. And maybe meet my darling along the way… yung ice cream ko ha? Laki na ng utang ko sayo pero yung ice cream ko muna. Enjoy your day people! I know I'll do.

Monday, July 26, 2010

No Regrets

I don’t fear losing people in my life no matter how hard I have fought for them. I don’t fear losing everything when pursuing something I believe in. I don’t fear facing an army just to get to where my heart leads me. What I fear is a life of regret that I did not do all those things, and I am stuck in the middle of somewhere with someone that I don’t love, I don’t need and I don’t want.

The ghosts may lurk inside me, but that is all they will ever be, ghosts. They will never rule my life; they will never ruin my life. For a person who has suffered much, I believe that I will have my own time to meet all my heart’s desires. For now, I am working on my resilient heart, who never forgets to remind me that life is all about taking chances. And it is not about winning all the time. It is the courage to see and face where your truth lies. And that’s what ultimately gives my heart all the happiness and freedom I can get out of life.

I have learned to love, to be loved and to let go of that love…love in its true aspects...and the pain and joys that go with it is called life. 

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Making a Killing

The skin jumps opposite the impersonal convenience.

So when  you are in for the kill, focus, strategize and gather confidence in what you can do. Be fearless, be free. Explore what you can do.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Storm Attack!

ust when you though everything will be alright, things turn to worst.

...no power...no internet...no work....no life

Storm storm go away. You are no good for working writers like me.

(headache...argh!)

Monday, July 12, 2010

It's Raining



I love it when it rains. I love the cold and the sound of trickling water down the gutter. Weird enough, I like raindrops touching my palms, the cold feeling seems to calm the nerves inside. El niño has finally ended, now come the rainy days. Something tells me, it’s a good start to do something new with my life … something I have never done before … maybe like learning the art of flirting … and somebody’s smiling.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Thank YOU for Loving ME

I don't know what you saw in me ...........    I might have dazzled you with my ............................

................................................WITS!

Thank you for coming into my Life


It's a Bitch to Grow Up


I actually borrowed this title from an Alanis Morissette song. Boy if I can only meet this fine artist, I would hold her hand and thank her for every song that she made. They really helped me straighten up my life and move on from all the dark chapters of the love that I had.

“I’ve spent my life hovering above bottom
Thinking I can’t survive what’s below”

Below…low points…I have been there and those times were nasty.

“…and there was no other direction to go…”

In every decision we make, we tend to get a feeling of whether it is wrong or right before everything goes for the better…or worst. If it sends you to a better place, then you must have done something good. But if it is sending you downhill and it feels that you can’t escape, you got no choice but hold on and brace yourself for all the consequences that you have to face… and even if you try your mightiest to escape, all the more that these problem and consequences stick around and bother you, unfinished businesses, keeping you from moving forward with your life… And at that same point, through all your uncertainties, pain, remorse, regret and efforts to change, you will realize that you actually have a lot more to learn…It is at that point that you start to really GROW UP.

“I feel done, I feel raked over coals, and all that remains is the case…that it’s a bitch to grow.”

It’s ironic right? Had you known what’s gonna be the ending of your conquests, would you have done it regardless of the future?

Friday, July 2, 2010

whining about struggling

Sometimes, I have a gut feeling that I am letting myself miss so many things because I am always this person who deals with responsibilities and obligations first. Sometimes, I ponder on whether or not I must also allot time to enjoy time with friends or spend idle times doing stupid things, doing nothing, but I always end up feeling guilty and thinking of the things I should have done during those times…because that’s what a responsible person should do. Sometimes, I think I am taking my being “responsible” a little too seriously. I know I have a lot of things to do but I get it that my life isn’t just about doing responsible and mature things. I am also entitled to make my own mistakes. So whenever I am out to have fun, I forget all control and just lose myself to the moment, which is really stupid. But hey, I am entitled to my dose of stupidity once in a while.

 I just want to feel alive. I want to become the person who is not afraid to do things on my own and to love despite of and regardless of. I want to be able to do things my way, where I will only answer to my own decisions and not make them just to be approved of or please other people. I want to be fearless in embracing life, its flaws and all. I want to be fun. I really need some ME time….bad!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

New Hope

With the new administration leading the government of my beloved country Philippines, I felt that I become confident again that there is still hope to enjoy a better Philippines in the next six years. Here in the province of Albay, our elected governor asserted that the province has broken ground the foundations of establishing better economic status, public education and health services and overall better quality of life for all Bicolanos. But what surprised me is that why am I easily impressed by these promises when they are the main aspects of existence, which the government should improve and provide for its nation? Why was I easily impressed that our leaders put emphasis in the improvements and installation of better public service, when they are their main purpose and obligation? Have I become one of those Filipinos who get used to “pwede na”, “pagtyagaan na” and futile patience and hope for the day the politicians will finally do their “real” job. I am hoping for a better future for my dear country and my province because I would not want to live elsewhere. Not because I am settling or that I feel that living in the province is “pwede na”. I see it as the best place where I can pursue my professional ambitions, raise my son and build fond memories with my family, which I will carry on throughout my lifetime. In 30 years, Albay is geared to be the “California” of the Philippines, during which I will be near my retiring age. I just hope it will materialize. I managed to dream again, I hope it is a good sign.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Your Life is Your Choice

This is an excerpt from Bo Sanchez' "Don't be a Zombie" blog.

....Let me share a beautiful story written by S.I. Kishor about a man who passed the test.

"Will You Pass The Test Of Life?"

John Blanchard was a soldier.

One day, in a library, he found an old book with a lot of writing in the margins. He read her handwritten notes in the book and admired their deep insights. At the front cover, he saw that the book was previously owned by a certain Hollis Maynell.
With much effort, he located her address. He wrote to her and told her about her old book and how he liked her written notes.
And she responded, thanking him for his kind words.
But that day, he was shipped overseas to fight in a war.
Still, they kept writing to each other. During the difficult times at the battlefield, her words inspired him and gave him hope.
Little by little, John was falling in love with her.
He requested for a photo, but she replied that if he really cared for her, it won’t matter how she looked.

Finally, he was going home.
They decided to meet at the Grand Central Station at 7pm.
He said he’d be in his soldier’s uniform bringing her old book.
And she said, “You’ll know me by the red rose I’ll wear on my lapel.”
When the train arrived at 7pm, John was there, wearing his neatly pressed military uniform, with her old book in his hand.

The first woman to step off the train was a beautiful woman in a green suit. But there was no red rose on her blouse.

John was disappointed. But she was so lovely, he kept looking at her. She walked in front of him, glanced at him with a smile, and asked, “Are you following me, soldier?”

A part of him wanted to follow.

But no, he had to wait for Hollis Maynell.
The next woman who stepped off the train had a red rose on her lapel. She was perhaps 45 years old. She had graying hair beneath her hat. And she was very overweight. Meantime, the beautiful woman in the green suit was walking away.

John was torn.

Yet he looked again at the woman who was wearing the red rose. He remembered her letters and what a fascinating a person she was. He remembered how wonderful her words made him feel. He told himself, “This may not be love. But this may be more than love. This will be a beautiful friendship with a lovely person.”
He walked up to her, straightened himself, handed the book to her and said, “My name is Lieutenant John Blanchard. You must be Ms. Hollis Maynell. I’m so glad you could meet me. May I have dinner with you tonight?”

The woman smiled. “I don’t know what this is about, son,” she answered, “but the young lady in the green suit asked me to wear this red rose on my coat. She also said that if you asked me out for dinner, she said she’d be waiting for you in the big restaurant across the street. She said it was some kind of test!”

"Your Choices Shape Your Destiny"

Imagine the end of this story: John and Hollis getting married, having kids, and growing old together.

Because he lived deliberately.

Because he made the right choice.

Because he passed the test.

Friend, life is a series of tests.
And your choices—your answers to the test—
will shape your destiny!
Sometimes, it’s a choice between love or lust.
Sometimes, it’s a choice between selfishness or selflessness.
Sometimes, it’s between what your heart wants and what your flesh wants.
Sometimes, it’s between what will bless you forever and what will give you pleasure this moment only.
Your life is really all up to you.
You’re the chef of your meal.
You’re the architect of your house.
You’re the scriptwriter of your movie.
You’re the composer of your song.
You’re the painter of your masterpiece.
At the end of the day, you decide how happy, fulfilled, and blessed you want to become.