Priorities

Time and time again, I often find myself in struggle on priorities. When I say I work, I say that it is for my kid. Being alive, I say that I am doing everything for my kid. But when it comes to situations where I would decide on which one to prioritize, whether its work or my child, I am surprised for it is a struggle for me to make the decision. Why don’t I immediately attend to my son and say that to hell with everything else? After all, he is number one in my life.

We are in the hospital right now. My son is vomiting and poo-pooing and has a temperature of 40 degrees. And amidst the people who are worrying about my son’s condition, I am more concerned about how the bill would dent my savings. Well, that’s the truth. I feel so guilty that I am thinking about other things than him feeling okay. I love my son and I do hope that he is already feeling alright but what am I to do? Although money is less important, it is still important.

You know, my son being hospitalized is just the icing on the cake of everything that happens to me right now. Maybe I need to dance upon the gods just to do away with bad luck. When they say: “when it rains, it pours” I believe that. Seems like bad luck has favored controlling my fate somehow. Crazy right? But I think so because it is how I feel right now. But what matters is, my son is okay.

In the past, one of my sisters has given me the greatest advice. She said that among every problem in the world, money problems is the easiest to find solution. Now I know why. Because when you look for a job, you will find it. Sometimes, it would just come when you needed it most. Compared to other problems, you can control the factors that cause money problems. Come to think of it, compare money with love and family problems and it will surely become inferior.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my son…dearly. He is all that matters to me. I am not counting the ways by which I have to sacrifice some part of me time and time again for his welfare. Because the fact is, he is actually giving me more than what I give him. He is actually giving me valuable life lessons that make me a better person and a better mother for him.

From an immature and inexperienced mom, I have become more of a mature woman, facing responsibilities head-on, and always knowing where her priorities lie. Thanks to inopportune times like this, I am learning more and more about how to survive bad luck, and life. It may sound silly but sometimes, it really needs to hit my head just to make it think straight. Because sometimes, I tend to become preoccupied by things or by people who matters less in my life.

To my son, I am eternally grateful for you. You are making me a better person every day. I promise that after you have recovered, I will take you somewhere special, just the two of us, bonding with at all the precious time that we can spare.