Birth date

This weekend, I celebrated my big 2-8th. While my date had made last minute changes to our agreement on how to spend the day, to my annoyance, the day went alright. Later on, I checked my social network account and was thrilled to see that there are many people who took the time to greet me on my birthday. As an adult and a parent, I don't have much expectations about celebrating occasions like this. I pretty much have settled on the compromises I need to make...being a busy parent and career woman and being everything that I am right now. I am practically catching my breath to keep up. Well, I think I need a break and a good break shall I have.Good night everyone!

One and Only

While I am out of words to write ... I just wanted to share this spot-on soulful song, which describes the very person who makes me smile everyday. salamat sa pagtatama ng lahat ng mga mali sa buhay ko...
 

MAHAL... THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME THIS MUCH ...

I Miss Writing

Since I entered a new career, I never got the chance to write something other than plans, exams, grades and evaluation points. I never had the chance to post one decent blog entry. I never had the chance to feel, to whine or even to breathe and just think because all the time was spend running around for tasks that seem to never end - tasks that take away so much time, keeping me from doing all the things that I used to do. It's like having a new baby. My job tends to wrap me into a world where I can never do other things than the daunting tasks of keeping up. whew! sometimes it really tires me so much, I am pulling strings to keep my battery, wits and sanity up. But who said professional careers were easy to start anyway. so I need to stop whining and start delivering whatever is needed or rather demanded from me. so got to go away again guys. 'till my next "not-so-in-haste-made" blog entry.

YOU

Who honor those who we love for the very life that we live? Who sends monsters to kill us? And at the same time says that we will never die? Who teaches us what's real and how to laugh at lies? Who decides why we live and what we'll die to defend? Who change us and who holds the key that can set us free? ...IT'S YOU. YOU HAVE ALL THE WEAPONS YOU NEED... NOW FIGHT!

arrogance

In my the past few weeks, I never expected to have met so many huge egos and arrogant people in my everyday life. I was pretty confident that everything will turn out fine. However, though one can do so much, it is what it is and that's what happened. At their very young age, I was surprised to be dealing with people who are not supposed to be as arrogant and disrespectful. Pity, I thought they were all good and every day they prove me wrong. They are young but they are what they are. All I can hope is that I won't cave in to the urge to give them the kind of treatment that their attitudes are asking for.

Education

In my current job as an educator, I had much expectations at how demanding it is in terms of time, effort and even patience. Sometimes, it makes me think and compare how easy my work was as a copywriter, having the time to just sit back and write as my thoughts soared, but then it also convinces me that this job allows me to share more and explore more to be part of the development of the students I care for. This way, the job also allows me to learn so much more and explore more of what I am capable of. Both jobs do not sit well on my body clock, both jobs drove me to wake up at 2 AM just to get everything settled and done when the actual work hours start. I have made my choice and I wouldn't want to have chosen otherwise.

Now that I am a teacher, I remembered how my aunts used to take painstaking hours doing their lesson plans, quizzes and exams and even their tedious methods of computing every student's grade/rating. Now that I am in the position of continuing this noble but unspoken and undeclared calling, which my family seem to be part of, I wanted to give more as I always did in every task I was given.

This may not mean anything to my young students, but I take this job very seriously. I just hope they listen more. It is somehow painful to see that all those efforts be put to waste because I may have overlooked the importance of catching their attention. It is often a source of frustration on my part that I find it a bit challenging to make students interested in my discussions, especially when the subject I teach is perhaps very far from their interests. They would rather love to study about science and math than study social issues, history and home economics. This is a challenge I am willing to rule out. I am laying out many ways on how to make the "uninteresting" somehow relatable and "interesting" to these young minds' taste. I have to. I need to. I shall will them to learn. That is a promise.

I have surpassed many challenges in my academic life, I know this is but another challenge that will mark my sleeve. The only difference is that if I pull it off, I served my purpose and that the young minds I nurture will gain much more.

Sensitive Much?

I admit that I am awfully sensitive whenever somebody comments on how I parent my child, especially if that somebody is my mother. Honestly, I don't look forward to being nagged at how to do things, I believe that my years on earth have given me enough know-how to work around things...or so I thought. Then, we talked about our issues and even my issues on how to do better in handling my child, and to my surprise, I saw her point clearly, which of course made me feel quite off. Bottomline is that I am lucky to have a mother, who immediately corrects me if I am about to do things the wrong way - well in her eyes at least. Experience may be what I am lacking, but my mother has lots of that. I have to give it to her, she talks of things that I really don't have any knowledge or insight of how things may turn out. Though I have faith in myself, sometimes, I needed to be cracked to take a better perspective at things I might be doing wrong, but not intentionally. I guess my mother is just doing her job, parenting me, raising me still even when I am already one... then I thought, parenting never stops and it crosses the boundaries of learning everything about family life.

My Labs!

It's not everyday that I encounter poems that truly measure up to my emotions and experiences as a parent. Let me share with you the treasure of words that I found. Also, I felt the need to twist my belated posts into advance greetings. So this is for you, "my labs!"...

To My Son 

 © Amy R. Campbell

Oh how the years go by,
Oh how time can certainly fly.
From once just a thought in far away dreams,
now into my arms and in my eyes gleam
the presence of you.

 Your laughter and smiles which go on for miles,
warms my heart and soul.
You're growing up so fast,
as I wish each moment with you to last forever.

 My little boy will someday be a man
and right by your side I will forever stand.
I will pick up the pieces when you fall,
I will hold your hand and help you stand tall.

And when the day comes when you are on your own,
never feel that you are alone.
No matter how near or far apart
I am always right there in your heart.


"Always remember whatever you go through, that no matter what, I will always love you."

Another Bday Post Coming Up...

Can't Please Everybody

Ever heard of the line "you can't please everybody"? It's actually true. Whether it is with your family, friends or co-workers, people's differences usually come in the way of "getting along" or simple "understanding" of the opinion, actions or shortcoming of others.

 Regardless of our religion, our faith in our God tells us to "have faith in other people", but some look upon themselves as the "standard" of personalities and with that, they project a relatively high expectation on others - on how they should act, on how they should have handled situations and many other conditions. This state often cultivates a thought that "they should have done this and that...if they weren't stupid...because I would have...I would have thought of that". Often, this state drives people to prejudices, which cause them to think ill of the intentions and character of others, instead of entertaining a more positive stand on the actions of other people.

 Sometimes, people do nonsensical things for no reason. Even when they are blithely aware of the consequences or hurt they may cause, there are reasons for their actions, no matter how stupid we thought those are. I personally believe that the things done served what they thought was best. People make mistakes and lucky are those who don't mess up as often as others. Sometimes, we just need to be thankful for not being in the situation of causing hurt or difficulties in others. I guess we just need to keep an open heart and an open mind to continue having faith in others, because no matter how we think that we are good and deserving or that we should have been treated better, we live the world with few other million people who may not agree with us and we have to respect that. Because that way, you get the respect and treatment that you thought you deserve. Respects - respects. Truly, people are different from one another. They have their own convictions, which with age, becomes more difficult to sway or even convince otherwise.

I guess some people should stop beating themselves up, thinking ill of other people. Just imagine the stress and the despair they put themselves in. Life is short and the world is small. You can do whatever with your life, but remember that you are living your life with few other people whom you need to treat well - to also be treated well.

My Calling

I have never thought of myself to be working with children. Funny, I wasn't a great fan of people from that age group. However, having a child of my own changed all my prejudices about our little tyrants. I find it refreshing and livening to be surrounded by energetic creatures. I look forward to being part of their daily life. I look forward to contributing in building their know-how in dealing with the world they live in. I look forward to all new experiences with them. After all, I am still and forever will be a student of a course called "life". This marks a new chapter in my career...which will teach me more on how to be a better adult and example to the young ones...especially my son.

What makes you Stay

Live to LOVE!

Priorities

At this point of my life, focus is everything. However, when "little things" come along with "important things", I tend to lose focus and just do the "little things" first, believing that after dealing with them, they wouldn't be a bother me by the time I deal with "important things". However, dealing with the "little things" causes me to lose sight of the "important things", which I should be doing and dealing with in the first place. What happens is that I get caught up dealing with less significant things and lose track of the things I MUST and NEEDED to do. This gets me really frustrated, beating myself up for things and chores that are left out. Tough tough tough! Life is like a balancing circus act, I hope I can figure out what and how to work out routine that would allow me to do everything I needed to do. Then I remember, my solution to everything...PRIORITIES...perhaps I should work that out before I go crazy organizing my to-do list.

Lost for Words

As I was reading my older post, I have noticed that it takes a while for me to write much these days. I guess it is a good sign. Like other bloggers, blogging about my frustrations in life made me a bit self-centered, only writing about me, what I feel, what was done to me, what I did to other people...me-me-me and ME. I guess I just run out of anything to talk about myself, or that everything is just okay and that I did not have anything to complain about. The thing is, I am happy the way things are... my little family, my love, my work, my home --- everything is in place. I guess I should write about the good things now. Life is still beautiful, just look for fortunes in unfortunate things and you'll soon realize, everything works out for the better. Be happy everyone!

What it means to be One

You may have already heard this but being a mother is one full-time job that will put you through all the pains, tiredness, long standing hours, limitless worries and various ranges of emotions. It is one job that does not define any boundary, it does not say when it starts or when it ends. It just goes on and on. But while it makes you ache and hurt in places you never realized you have, it is one job that allows you to learn much, not just about the fellow and the life that you brought into the world but about the character, strength and convictions that you have built within yourself. It allows you to correct all wrong and perpetuate all things good in life. The values you hold will be exhibited in every smile, smirk, tantrum, embrace and tear that your little one will shed or cause. Given all these troubles, some may claim that being a mother is the best. Honestly, I can't say that becoming a mother is the highlight of every woman's life. For me, it simply became my life. It was what concluded everything I have learned and it is what showed me of the realities of how difficult but rewarding life can be despite and in spite of all the trials and blessings that have come my way.

Tricky Talks

Many times I have wondered why I feel more comfortable opening up my issues to my friends than to my siblings. Perhaps it could be the prospect of them stepping to my side in every situation without being fully judged or I felt that my sisters and I already have a great deal of issues to deal with for ourselves that some things need not to add up to whatever is already carried. Sometimes,things are best discussed with family because they are the ones who truly know you for what you are and that would understand you why you did the things you just did. As for friends, being more attached to what you are going through, they often give you advices that may either serve your own good (objective) or soothe your ego (butter you up just until you are not that vulnerable). On the other hand, friends often become the sounding board with sibling quarrels or vice versa. As for me, I guess I need to put up some more blogs for all my sentiments. Now I know, I am better at expressing myself by writing, not by yaking!

Challenges

In my previous posts, I have written about finding more challenges to face, more tests and more trials, Boy did I never expected that everything would start like this. You see, this easter season, my son and I fell ill. For some reasons, some nasty bug or shall I say viruses, sneakily crept onto both our bodies and went gaga in creating havoc into our immune system. In simple terms, my son and I were sick... I know it would be more fun if we can play together or even sleep together but oh my, we were separated, isolated and drenched with every antiseptic, antibacterial, antimicrobial stuff I can get my hands on to. Talk about real challenge, this is like plague that materialized right between us two. So what must be the catch on why I am kinda upset on both of us getting sick altogether...simple! WE BOTH CAN'T GO OUT! what sucks even more is that we can't watch TV together...argh!

Well, I am hoping that like some nasty "bugs" that came across our lives, their effects should be temporary, but something that we will carry on forever. I guess I should say, "good luck with that - mate!"

All About CLASS

Class has a sense of humor. It knows that a good laugh is the best lubricant for oiling the machinery of human relations. Class never makes excuses. It takes its lumps and learns from past mistakes. Class bespeaks an aristocracy unrelated to ancestors or money. Some extremely wealthy people have no class at all, while others who are struggling to make ends meet are loaded with it. Class is real. You can't fake it. Class never tries to build itself up by tearing others down. Class is already up and need not attempt to look better by making others look worse. Everyone is comfortable with the person who has class because he is comfortable with himself. If you have class, you've got it made. If you don't have class, no matter what else you have, it won't make up for it. 


                                                                                    -- Ann Landers

I did IT!

It was my graduation week. Suddenly, my hopes of finishing my college education came true. All the hard work, long work hours, study periods, cramming periods, tiring days and nights, and time spent away from my son rewarded me with this single sheet of paper called "college diploma". Then suddenly, it hit me... what am I going to do now? Where do I go from here? What things should I pursue now that my ultimate goal has finally been reached. Then it sinked in that I now have to figure out more things to do with my life. But similar to my experiences with my previously achieved goals, I know that I have to toil and work harder this time to achieve more things that I wanted in my life.

Of course, I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who helped me make the "impossible" possible.

As the "MIA" writer that I am, I would like to express my heartfelt thanks to my boss - my friend, Sandi for always finding it in her heart to understand my interesting predicament. Thank you for being a great boss, a friend and an inspiration for a struggling writer and mother like me. As it is, you're doing a great job on your own and I'd like to bring that positive attitude in my life.

As a stubborn sister, daughter and niece that I am, I would like to thank my family for the support and affection that consistently gave me strength to go through everything that is necessary to reach my goals. I am what I am because you guys helped me become what I am ... a winner!

As a reluctant, confused, dramatic, neurotic yet trying-to-be-the-coolest-young-hot-mother that I am, I would like to dedicate my achievements to my SON, my everything. This is just the start so NJ, just hang in for this will be quite a ride!

Lastly, I dedicate everything to my greatest inspiration... the never tiring and unconditional love and affection that you have bestowed upon me was what held me through it all. It is your love that SAVED my life and I promise to live out the most of the life that YOU gave me. Dear Lord, you are the greatest love I have seen in my life. My love for my son, my family and my loved one --- my love for them is a reflection of what you gave me. Thank you for teaching me everything I know now... and I look forward to the tests that you will give me. I am eternally grateful dear Lord, you've protected me from making wrong decisions, you enlightened me of the persons who have taken from me and hurt me. I pray to you for peace in mind and heart of every person's life I have touched, for every person who brought hurt and shame into my life, for the people who helped me and supported me... as I would hope to give them the same courtesy they have given me. Thank you for everything. I pray for my heartfelt thanks in Jesus' name.....AMEN

The Victor

I would like to share with you my favorite poem of the moment:



If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don’t
If you like to win but think you can’t,
It’s almost a cinch you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost.
For out in the world we find
Success begins with a fellow’s will
It’s all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are.
You’ve got to think high to rise.
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win the prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man.
But sooner or later, the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.



-C.W. Longenecker

Take Risks! Assert Yourself!

One status message in facebook actually caught me off-guard as it was so true. It said, most successful people have taken risks. Then I thought, I used to take risks so lightly like I never have anything to lose. However, those days seem to have passed me by. When I've so much to stake and so many complications to consider, I seem to have lost the courage to take the risks necessary for me to move on with my "contented and satisfyingly simple life". Then I thought, the road to success were more challenging with everything I have in tow...really challenging. Then again I thought, I have come to a point in my life where I used to believe that everything was tough, yet I survived. I thought those days were the "toughest" as of those I have faced before, but I survived. I guess my uncertainties in taking risks only keeps me from going further to what I can do and wherever I can still go. I guess I really have to really toughen up some more and grow thicker skin to really go further. I admit I am fearful of failure. Then I thought, again, tasting failure only got me more revved up to do better. Whatever lies ahead, I guess I just need to brace myself for whatever good or bad may happen. I have surprised myself many times at overcoming life's difficulties, I guess this new crossroad in my life will only give me more surprises of whatever I am still capable of doing, failing or achieving.

"Assert yourself..." this will be my new mantra. Hello world; here I go again!

Whatta!

Sometimes... rather...most of the time, parents can be the most discriminating persons in this world. No matter what you do, it seems like they can easily pick something bad on anything that you have or do. No matter how you redeem yourself from all your past offenses, they will always pick on those and always find a way to make an argument about it. No matter how well you do, they will always find something to make you feel that it wasn't good enough. So here's a piece of my mind: I may pursue something that people may not perceive as a road to success, but whatever I do, it is I who is most pleased about it...and I am not the least bit ambitious as some people are.

I am not perfect, I get it. Whoever is anyway? I just hate it when somebody pisses on me and it burns me like hell because I cannot talk back or even defend myself. So there, enjoy tormenting me because soon, you will see the end of everything. and that is a promise.

Whew!

Im so sorry guys for neglecting this blog for like two weeks. Wendastarr just got busy with school and many other things. After surviving OJT, thesis writing and thesis defense, I have a good feeling that all my hard work will pay well. 

Finally, school will be over. After all the blood, sweat and tears, I can finally say that my life is close to being the way I wanted it to be...I planned it to be. That thought I made a long "detour", I still managed to go back on track.

Time and time again, I am thankful for the support system that I have. My son, my family, my friends, my classmates and my professors, I thank everyone for bearing with the "temperamental me" these past few weeks. 

God speed!

My Valentine

The past few weeks were spent on completing the many requirements that I need to accomplish before graduation. My days became more hectic, tiring and exhausting... both in mind and body. Sometimes, I think, I don't need to exert much effort in doing all the tasks I can manage in the office because I need to do more things at home, like working on my articles, thesis, and caring for my son. But old habits don't help, I can't help it, I am thorough in everything I do.

Although the days are long and tiring, it's comforting to come home to a family that always have warm dinner waiting for me on the table. Simple things like preparing food for a weary soul like me easily warms and melts my heart. I so love my family for bearing with me through all these trying days of my life. I thank them for taking care of me and my son. Most especially, I am thankful to have found a home in my SON, who patiently waits for me, entertains me with his endless gab and joins me in my late dinners and snacks...until he falls asleep in my arms. Nothing can top the love and embrace that welcomes me home every night. I love you son...my forever valentine.

Isn't this Cool

Isn't this cool or not? I am making this entry while I am on my on-the-job-training hours... Thanks to MS. ESTER, I got this rare chance of updating my blog...in the office!!! COOL!

Hectic Days are Here again

I know I have been quite lax with everything lately, I am just taking my time (hic!). Anyway, it is time for some serious business. My to-do list has run another mile, my pending projects are brimming and I need to get my act together. Get it together girl, get it together...wrap it up! ... and remember, reward comes to those who work like there's no tomorrow! work! work!! work!!!

W-O-R-K!!!

ONESELF

I believe that one’s healthiest relationship must be with himself. Learning to value your own values, freely love what you really love and embrace both your strengths and weaknesses are practices that can make anyone an able partner, an essence of a lasting and healthy relationship. Once a person manages this kind of relationship with himself, I believe that all his fears will be nonexistent and that whatever happens to the relationship he enters, he will have no regret because he will never come out of it broken…less hurt, less bitterness and less hassles. Ultimately, I believe this kind of personal relationship with oneself is the key to happiness. Happiness is never forced, it is shared and spread. To be happy in all facets of life, love, embrace and value one’s self first…the rest will just follow. Well this is but one random thought that crossed my mind this day. How about you?

Sink or Swim

Sometimes, it happens that I just go blank in the middle of conversations. Not that I am ignoring the people talking with me, it’s just that sometimes out of the blue, interesting thoughts and ideas cross my mind and I needed to take a mind note. Of course, I would just brush it off with “sorry, what was that again?” or “don’t mind me, go on…” 

Lately, I do get a lot of that “blank” mode. Perhaps it comes with the excitement, or rather anxiety, of finally graduating from school. I always remind myself that this is just a start because I intend be busy about many things. I guess I am just consoling myself that way, thinking of all the lost times I had in building something out of myself. But then enough of the pity party, this is my big opportunity. This is what I have long been waiting for. Gotta suck it all up and go on. 

Funny, at this point, I shouldn’t be feeling this way. It’s high school all over again. As I stop and think of plans and ideas, I do get excited I can almost taste them all. But then again, I wonder if I can ever pull it off. Then my alter ego would say, “but of course my dear, you’ve come a long way! This is just but one thing you have skipped and turned back to. ” --- then I get excited, thinking and wondering and looking forward to post-grad life all over again.

Down with Rain

Rain. Cold. Quiet. I now understand why the percentage of depression cases is higher in colder countries.

Rain. Though I like the comfort of the days when sweat doesn’t burst on my skin, rainy days seem to always give me this sinking feeling, like I feel down or something. Funny, I have been ranting and praying for rainy days for the last few months and when it came, I don’t like it anymore. Though I have thought rainy days are better, I am quite convinced that I was proven wrong.

Cold. I have been looking forward for this cold wet season. Now, I don’t like it so much.I

Quiet. When I work, I like everything to be still around me as my mind runs fast with ideas and webs words to make sensible points. But after all the task, the quiet isn’t the best company for me.

Funny, sometimes the things that I look forward to so much, the things that I wished and hoped for, the things that I staked much for, often do not meet my expectations. As I look back, my days were better with the heat and all. Sunny days may burn me down but it never made me feel down.

Bring it On 2011!

Ringing the year of the rabbit is quite exciting for me. There will be lots of exciting changes and challenges ahead so I am bracing myself to have the stamina to match whatever comes my way. After weathering storms, overcoming the odds and winning over my little battles, I no longer hold fear and uncertainty. I know what’s mine and I will get it. I don’t even need to work hard at it because I can make it happen. It’s “New Year” and it’s time to embrace a more assertive and more confident attitude…hell I can do it!!! No more fear…no more hate…just hopeful and ready! AJA!!!