it saddens me that everybody is moving out of the circle that we all used to share. what a nightmare this day is. it pains me to even say anything about the issue here in the office, but i know that everything will fall into place...
we all lost our job today! but this is an eye opener to me...how did i even bear with this thankless job? i put my sweat and blood doing everything that needs to be done. I complied with everything, i stood long hours...and yet. this is just the perfect ending right?
what i realized is that, in a working arena, keeping jobs is like playing chess. not because of the game itself, but because people are treated as these chips of wood whose fates can be controlled and whose bodies can be played around..
i hate when BIG people take control and play with us, SMALL people...i just hate the injustice and disrespect. I cannot think of a day being in their shoes. My conscience will be torn into pieces...i am emotional right now, yeah right...but it in a matter of time, i know i will and i can get over this. i can rise again from this vicious fall.
these people can strip me off my job, but they can never put down my spirit. my pity goes to them, to the people hanging on to their jobs...that in any minute...everything could snap off.
i am too angry i cannot breathe...i am just depressed...
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Saturday, June 14, 2008
for YOU
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Updating Friends
so what happened in the last four years
BubbleShare: Share photos - Play some Online Games.
as for me...I've made friends, found God and found Love
BubbleShare: Share photos - Play some Online Games.
BubbleShare: Share photos - Play some Online Games.
as for me...I've made friends, found God and found Love
BubbleShare: Share photos - Play some Online Games.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
In Our Moments or Weakness
Confidence, skills and success. These are three things that we get out of long working hours, hard work, talent and pure luck. Sometimes, it takes years to surpass the trials that come by these three aspects of life. Years of hard work…years of rewarding work…but suddenly…what took years to build….was shattered in a moment…a moment of struggle…a trying moment…a moment of weakness.
It’s frustrating to lose control over the things that we took pride of having…that we took pride of acquiring…Robbing people of the things that once convinced them that they are doing fine, is the harshest thing to do in a person…shattering their confidence can’t compensate for what we are lacking…it will not even help you convince how better YOU are in any aspect of life. The truth is…the endurance of doing such is only driven by an insolent soul...or maybe someone who've lost vision of what compassion and objectivity are.
Who says life is fair…and who are we to make it unfair? Who are we to put people down…we are no better than anybody…we also suck at things occasionally.
It takes love, passion and enthusiasm to stay committed to our tasks…yet occasionally, the flow of nature will go against the direction that we are heading…making it harder to move on and go forward…testing our endurance…
Succumbing to the trials that occasionally come into our lives can easily convince us to give up…making us quit is the idea of trials anyway…trials define our substance…trials exist to test our character and ideals…whoever stays…whoever survives…will be rewarded in his own rights.
In this life…it doesn’t matter how vast our weaknesses are…but how strong our strengths are…our moments of weakness makes us realize where our strengths lie…our weaknesses may shame us…but our courage to get up and pull things together will always bring us back on track.
It’s frustrating to lose control over the things that we took pride of having…that we took pride of acquiring…Robbing people of the things that once convinced them that they are doing fine, is the harshest thing to do in a person…shattering their confidence can’t compensate for what we are lacking…it will not even help you convince how better YOU are in any aspect of life. The truth is…the endurance of doing such is only driven by an insolent soul...or maybe someone who've lost vision of what compassion and objectivity are.
Who says life is fair…and who are we to make it unfair? Who are we to put people down…we are no better than anybody…we also suck at things occasionally.
It takes love, passion and enthusiasm to stay committed to our tasks…yet occasionally, the flow of nature will go against the direction that we are heading…making it harder to move on and go forward…testing our endurance…
Succumbing to the trials that occasionally come into our lives can easily convince us to give up…making us quit is the idea of trials anyway…trials define our substance…trials exist to test our character and ideals…whoever stays…whoever survives…will be rewarded in his own rights.
In this life…it doesn’t matter how vast our weaknesses are…but how strong our strengths are…our moments of weakness makes us realize where our strengths lie…our weaknesses may shame us…but our courage to get up and pull things together will always bring us back on track.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Embracing Love
It’s really comforting when you have something to hold on in a relationship. Whatever trouble may come, it’ll just pass because it can never shatter a strong foundation that has forged the love between you and your man. The thing is that, complications are things that we only put upon ourselves. While people may say their opinions about how things go between the two of you, what matters is that the ties that keeps you together continues to reinforce whatever reasons you have for staying together. Nothing can shatter a love that has perished a number of storms…and people who threaten its very existence. When things get out of hand, step back and reflect. Think of the more important things that will still convince you that every effort to save the relationship is worth it. Although problems and situations may strike our ego and pride…compromises must be made just to save whatever love is left…love stays…love survives…and only when you give in to reason, shall end everything that comes with it.
Feeling distraught about every problem that comes with our relationships means that we question our love…we question our quest to move on from every mistake and every trial that we step out of. What’s important is that we are sure of this person…no distance can change everything that the two of you have worked so hard for. No person can ever replace or compensate for every faults and shortcoming that you discover that your partner has. Nothing can replace each other…that is, if love is true and unconditional.
Once in a while, however smart we are, we do stupid things to save our relationships. For me, it’s not normal. Rather, it’s the greatest way of experiencing life…that you are living the realities of life. Threading every emotion and problem or overcoming life's situations will only be possible if you give in to love. Love never fails to make the best of what we have. Although love can destroy us, love is what makes us grow and become better people. Love makes us explore…love may hurt…but love is what brings everything good in life…and everything good, comes with hard work.
There’s no better love story than our own. If you are destined for each other, then nothing can separate the two of you. To make relationships work, you have to jump over the barriers or complications created by age, time, distance, character, money, mistakes, reason, raw emotions…and situations that makes us forget of our PRIDE. I believe that there’s no success in love for it is a continuous process…a continuous struggle to keep each other and make something good blossom out of each other’s character. Love is a continuous process...because if you end trying…life is bland.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
for NJ
June 4, 2005
At 10:15 PM, I finally gave birth to a little boy. But because I was sedated, I failed to lay eyes on my baby because my body gave in to the fatigue of bearing more than 12 hours of excruciating pain due to contraction…
When I first woke up, I wondered where I was…wearing a hospital gown and a little disoriented…my first words were “tapos na?!”
So I wondered…where was the baby?
The nurse said, “He’s in the nursery, puntahan mo na lang sya if nacarecover ka na ng lakas…rest muna po kayo?”
4:00AM. I forced myself into a wheel chair, which happens to be placed beside my hospital bed. While my sister “on-guard” is asleep, I sneaked into the elevator to find where the hospital’s nursery is located. To my dismay, I found out that it was on the next floor…so clutching my weak knees, I forced myself to go to the elevator and head where that damn nursery is.
So I was there, at the door, telling the nurse “on-shift” that I was dying to see my baby. And with a smirk on my face, I asked, “miss, lalaki ba talaga?”
Laughing, the nurse said, ”halika po tingnan nyo na”.
When I first saw the baby, it was like meeting another person…Although I know that I’m his mother, I am still in denial that my responsibilities is deeply spelled in this peacefully sleeping baby. So I held him close, observed, and even peeked into his diaper to see if he is really a boy. You see, our family is dominated by females. So I never expected that I was carrying a boy. And having a boy of my own, I was deeply satisfied.
From that day, I got hooked to that baby, that little tyrant of mine. Whenever he “screams” (he never did cry you know) for milk, I immediately fix what was needed just to shut him up. My head is spinning every time he asks/demands what is needed to be fixed. And whenever I ‘m on the verge of losing my patience, I just thought that “hey, maybe he is smart, he demands what he needs and knows how to get it. That settles me somehow…
One…two…three years later…I find comfort in observing this peacefully sleeping little boy beside me. Our small bed brings us closer every night. Our little world made both of us grow out of the trials and hardships that comes with being a parent and a child of a messed up mamay. Our occasional treats to Jollibee has tightened our inexplicable lust for spaghetti and fries. We survived the tantrums, the spanking, the yelling and the arguments over meals or tv programs that we are watching. What I appreciate during those times is that he still relies on me for everything that he needs. Two…three years after this, maybe it will not be the same…maybe things will be different…but I will always be his mamay.
Having learned his ABCs, numbers and a little bit of kid songs…having learned his devotion for Mr. Bean, this little boy will always have a special place in my heart…in my life…he means everything to me…as I hope that I am everything to him. But one thing that will not change is that we survived everything together. As much as I wanted to, I will always guide this boy through everything that he need to or choose to experience…as he has guided me, in his own little ways.
Every time I go to work, I am driven and motivated to do more every time he gives me a big hug, goodbye kiss, and his cute “ingat!!” as I climb into my daily pedicab ride. What more can I ask for in this life? I am blessed, I am eternally grateful for experiencing everything I had to…raising a child.
This is for you NJ. To the greatest kid a mother could have…I love you so much son…thank you for everything…although you may not think of it…you gave me more than what I gave you…I love you son!!! Happy birthday!!
At 10:15 PM, I finally gave birth to a little boy. But because I was sedated, I failed to lay eyes on my baby because my body gave in to the fatigue of bearing more than 12 hours of excruciating pain due to contraction…
When I first woke up, I wondered where I was…wearing a hospital gown and a little disoriented…my first words were “tapos na?!”
So I wondered…where was the baby?
The nurse said, “He’s in the nursery, puntahan mo na lang sya if nacarecover ka na ng lakas…rest muna po kayo?”
4:00AM. I forced myself into a wheel chair, which happens to be placed beside my hospital bed. While my sister “on-guard” is asleep, I sneaked into the elevator to find where the hospital’s nursery is located. To my dismay, I found out that it was on the next floor…so clutching my weak knees, I forced myself to go to the elevator and head where that damn nursery is.
So I was there, at the door, telling the nurse “on-shift” that I was dying to see my baby. And with a smirk on my face, I asked, “miss, lalaki ba talaga?”
Laughing, the nurse said, ”halika po tingnan nyo na”.
When I first saw the baby, it was like meeting another person…Although I know that I’m his mother, I am still in denial that my responsibilities is deeply spelled in this peacefully sleeping baby. So I held him close, observed, and even peeked into his diaper to see if he is really a boy. You see, our family is dominated by females. So I never expected that I was carrying a boy. And having a boy of my own, I was deeply satisfied.
From that day, I got hooked to that baby, that little tyrant of mine. Whenever he “screams” (he never did cry you know) for milk, I immediately fix what was needed just to shut him up. My head is spinning every time he asks/demands what is needed to be fixed. And whenever I ‘m on the verge of losing my patience, I just thought that “hey, maybe he is smart, he demands what he needs and knows how to get it. That settles me somehow…
One…two…three years later…I find comfort in observing this peacefully sleeping little boy beside me. Our small bed brings us closer every night. Our little world made both of us grow out of the trials and hardships that comes with being a parent and a child of a messed up mamay. Our occasional treats to Jollibee has tightened our inexplicable lust for spaghetti and fries. We survived the tantrums, the spanking, the yelling and the arguments over meals or tv programs that we are watching. What I appreciate during those times is that he still relies on me for everything that he needs. Two…three years after this, maybe it will not be the same…maybe things will be different…but I will always be his mamay.
Having learned his ABCs, numbers and a little bit of kid songs…having learned his devotion for Mr. Bean, this little boy will always have a special place in my heart…in my life…he means everything to me…as I hope that I am everything to him. But one thing that will not change is that we survived everything together. As much as I wanted to, I will always guide this boy through everything that he need to or choose to experience…as he has guided me, in his own little ways.
Every time I go to work, I am driven and motivated to do more every time he gives me a big hug, goodbye kiss, and his cute “ingat!!” as I climb into my daily pedicab ride. What more can I ask for in this life? I am blessed, I am eternally grateful for experiencing everything I had to…raising a child.
This is for you NJ. To the greatest kid a mother could have…I love you so much son…thank you for everything…although you may not think of it…you gave me more than what I gave you…I love you son!!! Happy birthday!!
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