Bad Morning

There's always a day when everything doesn't go according to your plans. Not only are my pending accounts unsatisfied (done but no payments coming in yet), my son has already learned the "I'm sick" trick just to skip school. Time and time again, I always explain how our little family works. Mama does the actual work to earn money and Buboy need to go to school to be a kid, study and make friends. If one of us don't do our part, then nothing would work. Now if Buboy wants to skip school, then Mama will get angry and work will be quite a day of venting anger through writing. If nothing works, then that means one of us will be left behind in a far away place and we will be separated so we can function better, a scenario that is all too familiar to me. Times are really hard. Really hard, especially when I am dealing with this alone. But I am trying my hardest to make things work. Trying my hardest. God, a little help please?

Flutter

A glimmer of light, a flutter of emotion- I seem to miss the days when I took for granted the feeling of excitement of hoping for something great. I missed the days of looking forward to the unknown. As I grew older, I grew more anxious about the future. It seems like I hope the rest of my life will be spent "today". I stopped hoping. I stopped dreaming. I became fearful instead of bold. I became cautious instead of outrageous. I used to be bold and courageous. Now, I felt I lost all the fun and exciting things about my life. I live each day alone. I live each day catering to what needs to be done. I have given up the privilege of doing what I want, a long time ago. Now, It's always about what's needed to be done. A common theme of grown up whines. But all the more that life makes me feel this is my reality. I hope a flutter of something I have in the past would suffice to let me hope again, look forward to anything again, dream again... live a little bit more.