My relationship with my mother is one that I can compare with marriage. The only difference is that with marriage, you get to choose the person you will commit your 'lifetime' with. But, if I would have to choose a mother, I honestly wouldn’t choose someone like her.
Now my mother is far from the ideal
mother that you may have in mind. She does not even meet the ‘average’ mother
category, but that is not to say that she is the worst. Although she had her
promiscuous years and she had done things that made her easy to hate, she is
the mother that I have. Surprisingly, no matter how we disagree and fight, I
honestly love my mother.
As I look back, I was equally stubborn
to her as she is to my ‘advice’. I even come to the point of harming myself
just so I would force her to see things my way. Through it all, she was the
only one who stuck with me through everything wrong I have done. She was as
messed up as I was.
Now, I had the chance to live with her
again, this time that I have found my own pace and direction in life. Although
the situation somehow limited my freedom to go as I please, being all grown up
with my own child in tow, I decided to be with her. I know she needed me and
even if she doesn’t show it, she needed my guidance. She is making a conscious
effort to correct and make up for all her past mistakes and hurt caused in our
family. She needed me to see how hard she is trying, and I am happy to be with
her through the process.
Sometimes, my mother drives me crazy
with her boisterous chatter and somehow out of this world assumptions about
people and about life. It’s pretty much living with a tactless kid who is so
stubborn to even listen to you. But at the end of the day, I am happy to make
her feel that she is making progress, growing up while growing older, as I am
happy to also learn valuable and sometimes crazy insights from her, which I
will treasure for all my life.
