THE GREATEST WEEKEND OF ALL

The past two days were like heaven for me. I turned off my phone…I never went online…I just slept and played with my son…That’s my definition of heaven. Enough sleep, fun time with my son and spaghetti. That’s it!

I’ve done great in school, I have earned enough, my son is healthy…is it not enough reason to reward myself for a job well done? All I was asking is enough sleep. So there I was. I even got the chance to hear every song that my son has learned. Boy I was surprised to have missed that much! I never realized that he has grown so fast. My baby…is now a kid! Time surely flies by unnoticed.

I have chanced upon an Ugly Betty Marathon, a Charlize Theron and Johnny Depp movie (I can’t remember the title), and a CSI weekend marathon…boy that was great!

In the afternoon, I spared time to stroll by the beach with my son, just easing up from all the fuss that I do everyday. Even at that moment, the tranquility of the beach got me.

Simple as it may seem, I was quite the break that I have been looking for. An escape that I look forward to doing again.

Now You Tell me

Often, I become lost to the things that need my attention. Everything is a big balancing act. Sometimes, I just wanted to freeze the moment, just for me to catch my breath. I just have this lurking feeling that something is amiss. I might have overlooked something and I don’t know what it is. What I know is just I am doing everything I can to face every day with all its challenge, and manage to end the day accomplishing everything that need to be finished-wrapped and polished.

I am using all my energy making things work. But hey, not everything has to come from me. Not everything has to come from me. I am no machine and relationships do not work with only one end functioning. It must be real work. So I don’t care if you are too tired by the end of the day to remember that we’re here, just check on us and make sure that we’re okay. I am fed up with all the routine rap. So please don’t appeal to my guilts and convince me that you are at the suffering end of our worlds, you have not yet got a taste of what my suffering has been. So don’t go ranting you’re available and expect that we’ll come rushing by and grab the chance to kiss your ass. Life does not work that way.

All I wanted is a little effort. I am busting my veins all day and all I get is one liner nonsense. I am fed up. I am burnt out. For now, I am entitled to be a bitch. For now, I refuse to care…safer that way…no complications…no nothing.

For now, I am taking a break. To hell with all the mess coming by my life, I deserve a break. When I mean break, I mean time…time to spend taking care of ME and not of everybody else. Life’s a bitch anyway….AND SO AM I. BIGTIME!!!