Things I used to Love

I was thinking about the things I used to do and the reasons why I don’t do them now. Have I forgotten them? Or was it a choice?

I used to draw, dance, sing and play the guitar during my free hours. Whenever I want lose weight, I secretly danced jazz inside my room to break sweat. Whenever I feel the frustration and overwhelming disappointment about things in my life, I have my guitar to pass time with. Whenever I have dark thoughts filling my mind, I get my charcoal pencil and draw an outline of a naked girl/man embracing himself/herself in solitude. My young life went that way. But as I grew older, I seem to have lost the time and interest doing the things I used to find joy doing. Even if I force myself to draw, it wasn’t as good as before. Even if I attempt to play the guitar, it wasn’t as good as before. Dancing gives me even more disappointment, I couldn’t find the rhythm anymore.

People change, grow older and mature. It is a basic law of nature. But I was just surprised thinking that I used to be good in these things. Now, I suck at doing them. I could not understand why. But what I know is that the joy those activities brought me were replaced by activities and concerns that goes with age. As I faced responsibilities and adversities in life, I seem to have lost the little things I used to enjoy. As the famous Joker said, “why so serious?” Yeah, maybe I got too serious, but what am I to do if I am given these overwhelming obligations in my hands. Wouldn’t you be serious if it happened to you?

The lesson I suppose is that as we mature and take on life’s challenges, we sometimes lose part of ourselves that used to be fun and full of life. We tend to lose ourselves in our circumstances, and we forget coming back to ourselves, we tend to get stuck at the mature role that we have come to embrace. Maybe in that role, dancing, singing, drawing and doing any or your hobbies would be ludicrous and childish. But come to think about it, what’s the harm of doing those things if doing those things will help you remember the time when everything was simple and happiness was easier to attain?