June 4, 2010 is my son’s 5th birthday. In my continuing tradition of writing him a belated post for his birthday, here's what I have in mind:
Son, the past year has been extremely difficult for me. Mama was in a rollercoaster ride of her life. I was betrayed by the people whom I thought would care for us and we were left behind to face and settle the mess … we were left on our own. Thankfully, we have a wonderful family that has been our rock and strength for all these years. Although I once failed to blink back my tears and showed you a miniscule moment of my weakness, you were there to ease my pain. Your hugs kept me going, your faith in me kept me believing in myself. You made me feel your love and your impact in my life, which I realized to be everything I needed to settle with all the difficulties and all the pain that life has given us.
During my lowest points, you were there to watch DVD marathons of my favorite movies, sitting beside me until you fall asleep, staying with me even when you don’t like what I was watching. Whenever I need air to breathe, I just watch you, full of energy, full of life, making me realize that there is still more good things in my life…YOU. Whenever I needed a breather, we go to the arcade together, we eat ice cream together, we laugh, play games … even for the slightest measurement of time, I forgot my problems, I forgot all my pain … you replaced it with hope, love and forgiveness.
The thing is that during those times that I needed to be taken cared of, you were there. You and your huge curious eyes looking up at me, feeling that there was something wrong with me. You kept me sane and you brought me back to what I was, what I used to be and what I will become…your devoted mom.
In a short span of five years, you have taught me all about life, strength and purpose. You gave me the love that I was looking for, in all directions. You made me realize what I can be, which is the best person and the best mother any kid can ever have. I will have that as my life’s mission, because son … you deserve the best.
Sometimes, when I marvel at your beauty and awesomeness, I think back and say, “what did I ever do to deserve you?”
But then I realized, no matter how hard things can be, life will only get better as long as you are there, by my side, adoring me as your strict disciplinarian, crazy buddy, your clueless tutor, your bully, your friend, your first love… your Mama … your everything as you are my everything.
I love you son, five years since the day I was gifted with the best son any parent can ever have. Five years have passed and we are getting better. I am getting better at this mothering thing…because of you…because you help me become one for both of US.
3 comments:
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wends, i feel the same way about my son and our relationship...and it feels good to be able to tell them how we really feel..but let me tell u this, i know that in the years to come there will be days or nights u and ur son my have words (its normal), u might be so mad because u don't know where he is and he's not replying to ur text, he's no longer watching those movies with u, going to the arcade with u...remember these moments when u were his world, his everything...and treasure every single second coz these changes happens so fast...the one thing i always remember is what he told me himself when i said time might come when he would have to choose between me and wife: mama, i loved u first!....happy birthday to ur son, all the best, mommy yho
Thank you so much mommy yho!
I will take this advice to heart.
Yes, I will enjoy being the center of his world for as long as I can...I just wanted him to feel that I love him despite of and regardless of...he is my baby after all. Thank you for this very honest message. I was touched. :)
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