Yesterday, I finally decided to grace all my Thursday classes with my presence. Though school has already started a week ago, I needed time to collect myself and organize my thoughts and just be myself again. I was just a total wreck and even when I put myself to places where I needed to be, my thoughts weren’t exactly there. I was like in a bubble that is blown to directions where I needed to be.
After a tiring day, I opened my friendster account and saw that my sister left me a testimonial. As I have read line per line, I can’t help roll tears with the heartfelt message I saw. I just felt the love when I needed reassurance. I needed just that kind of reassurance when I seemed to have lost track of directions, of where I needed to be and what I should do. I was just shattered and having read the message just knocked up the bubble that was swallowing me whole.
So let’s go back to what happened in class. I was kind of early. My first subject was a blast. My classmates posed quite a challenge for me to keep up with (I have already missed 2 formal sessions) and my teacher was beaming on my remarks (talk about points for recitation, I did okay! Just to make up for my missed quiz). Then afternoon class came. I was kind of early, looking forward for more of the fun that started my day.
As I was seeing my classmates come inside the classroom one by one, I saw someone unwelcome. I saw someone that reminded so much of my EX. He has a dark brown complexion, he is just the same built, he is just the same hair and he has just the same posture…I can’t help but blink back and just hope I was dreaming…a constant reminder of HIM…and to my dismay, I discovered, this man will be my classmate everyday of the semester…
There are differences though. He seems to be the guy who is outspoken. His baritone voice booms every time he is asked to tell his opinion about the subject matter being discussed. I kind of liked the way he speaks, he seems to be smart and kind. For a newcomer, he seems to blend well and treats my classmates as buddies, me included.
So I needed to make a choice. Should I welcome ill-feelings and be constantly be tormented by this sort of reminder of my painful breakup or should I treat him as someone who I will be looking forward to coming to class to everyday. It wouldn’t hurt anyway for I was not meaning to be all romantic, I just wanted to see a better picture under the circumstance. It’s either I feel tormented and ruin my whole semester OR feel inspired and kilig, which really helps in keeping me from coming to class.
So I made my choice…and what a “kilig” choice I made!!!
