Feel the Love

"Sometimes, you have to accept the fact that some people are going to stay in your heart forever... even if you are gone in theirs."

Life goes on… and love? It will find you. It will find you when you are ready…again.

In a sentence of love, oftentimes you have to put a period on something that has to end and not just settle on a comma. In time, you will realize that it's nicer to see a complete sentence rather than a phrase that's completely hanging and doesn't even make any sense.

Wendastarr's greatest weakness is ...

You rarely tell people about your accomplishments because you always think you could've done better. You are afraid someone will come along who is better than you and you often think about what you are doing wrong in a relationship, instead of what you are doing right. You are a loved person, but always think you need to continue doing something to stay loved. You rest in who you are around the right people, but the second they say something negative about you, even in a joking way, your heart is crushed. You wish you could be a better person, but it seems so hard. You are not good at working at things, but you want to be because you want things to work, especially relationships. You need love and you want to keep love when it comes, but you are always afraid you'll do something wrong. You want to be loved for who you are..

Still Life

I am sitting still...
I am staring at the blank screen contemplating on what to write or should I write anything at all.
'Times like this, I feel I needed to put my mind to rest for I have been putting it through a lot means of battery for a while.
Sometimes, I refuse to think, I wallow into nothingness, making me sit still, doing nothing, just breathing and doing nothing.
Staring back at the blank screen...I refuse to believe that everything needs to be blank. Splash some color in it, put some nonsense phrases on it...in a while, I may realize what I wanted to do or needed to do to make this page work...or not.
I still sit still, staring at the blank screen, with a smirk on my face, I started typing...and I typed in these words.
It may not work, it may not make sense. But it's how my mind works in nothingness.
I am lost of feeling. I am lost of care...or maybe this is just an effect of another gloomy day.

I'm Cool with NOW

Nothing last forever, someone special may come into our lives, love us and promise us the world, but the moment you turn they are gone. In the future, it’s really interesting to meet this person who caused all the hurt in your heart. The person who made you open your eyes to the reality that life is no fairy tale and that the ultimate thing you have to accept in life is that spoken words are not to be trusted and that love is just love. It’s just a brand you use to rationalize your reasons for being with someone special. But of course, the memories of good times will always be there. No one and nothing can erase that. It even makes such meeting thrilling and fortuitous. Sharing a part of our life with that special person is not something that you can simply erase because of all the bad things that have happened. As we shared our life with that special someone, we leave part of us with that person, which perhaps makes them difficult to let go. But as the world continue to move, life goes on and you will move on, explore new possibilities and find new love. So when the ‘meeting’ comes, all you will remember will be the nice marks of that same person you used to love and embrace life with.

The story of a life and everything that came after...

These were the lovely bones that had grown around my absence: the connections — sometimes tenuous, sometimes made at great cost, but often magnificent — that happened after I was gone. And I began to see things in a way that let me hold the world without me in it. The events my death brought were merely the bones of a body that would become whole at some unpredictable time in the future. The price of what I came to see as this miraculous lifeless body had been my life.

---This movie is definitely on my list!

Hawt New Moon Clip!!!

Can't wait!!!!!

The Love of a Good Woman

Maybe I am one of those writers who opt to write the content first before the title. However, coming across this title, “the love of a good woman”, I can’t help but feel sadness wash over me. I don’t know but perhaps because I see sadness in including the phrase ‘good woman’, whatever does it mean? What does it need or aim to prove.

“Every woman gets the exact love life, good or bad, that she wants.”

At first, my mind refused to believe this outlook. It hated it because it made me look like an idiot. I mean, do I choose to be stood up, thrashed and be played a fool? Is that it? Did I ever choose that? That even if I bleed myself to death to carry on and do my part, that it’s my choice that I end up failing?

But then, later on, I realized it has got a good point. Besides law of attraction, women in this culture is trained and raised to play the part of a doe-eyed loser in the game of love…she is trained to salvage what is already not savable, stick to a man that is not worth it, and feel mercilessly thrashed when left used and taken as a doormat that came in passing for a quick fix of a need. She is trained to be patient, be kind and all that bullshit. But never did this culture train any woman how to cope with being hurt and used. No one even stood up what happens to those who have been left behind. They end up thinking that they are used, that no one will ever take them after some men have trashed their dignity and name aside. They believe that they are not that eligible of simple compassion or even a fair chance at love. Though even under the circumstance, they did not cause any of the harm and disaster that befell their honor, they are still left and seen as the ones to blame. The fool who fell for the greatest fools of all, men who lacked the balls to be man enough for them.

Going back to the intriguing line, it made me realize that if a woman’s definition of entitlement is ending up with people who abuse them more and hurt them more for they believe that that’s what they deserve and that’s what they settle for, that’s what they get. Sometimes, we need to reevaluate ourselves and the things we settle for in this life. I may be a bitch but I owe it to myself to give it the best. The best of the best. Why? Who else will ever do that for me? My definition of best is not happy endings at love but a full life with a healthy personal relationship with my family, friends and especially my son. My best is leaving room for life’s inspirations, people who make me feel special and people that continuously believe in what I am and what I do…why? Because they are the only ones worth fighting for.

Every day is my happy ending. I give it my all. If the line says I have the exact love affair I have, maybe because this simple life is what I settle for, no room for failure and no more room for fools who threaten the simple joys I have with life. Love is just love. So is love affair. If it’ll come, it’ll come