The new Me

My first semester will surely be hectic and fun. As my son will start going to school, I will give him my full support. As my semester starts, I will give it my all. I have my school and my son, two things in my life that need my full attention. Things that value me even when I am not paying them enough attention. I have my job that, even at times I neglect, stuck with me to sustain my financial needs. I have my family to love. I have my dear sisters to call my best friends. I also have my college click to share thoughts with every single day. I have got a special group that still remembers me as we come together for socials. All their arms are stretched out to embrace me, welcoming me wholly.Welcoming the new ME.

This is my new life. The Tougher me. The Unforgiving me. The caring-to-only-those-who-matters me. The more Ambitious ME. The more Cunning Me. The new ME.

Everything’s said and done…there’s no going back this time…not with the new Wendy...

Never to forgive…Never to Forget

Perhaps I am not Christian enough to find space for understanding and forgiveness to people who have done me wrong. As far as I know, to those who I have done wrong, they asked for it…when I give my loyalty and love to a person I value, I stick with all the moral values that live with it. Simply, I give my all. I give everything I can even with the fear that I might get hurt in the end…I do.

Unlike other people, I don’t pretend to the people who are close to me. As much as I can, I show them my worst. I show them my worst more than my best. I am rather conscious of showing them my worst than putting pressure in putting my best foot forward. How else will I know if they will really stick with me when all they see is what they wanted to see? For that reason, although I have limited number of friends, at least they really know me. To them, I am predictable. To them, I am loved for my flaws rather than my better qualities.

I am me. I may not be proud of my flaws but they are part of me. My flaws define me. My strength is measured in how I live with them. My flaws have guided me in making me realize the people who are true to me as I am to them.

My Devotion

“For a mother the project of raising a boy is the most fulfilling project she can hope for. She can watch him, as a child, play the games she was not allowed to play; she can invest in him her ideas, aspirations, ambitions, and values -- or whatever she has left of them; she can watch her son, who came from her flesh and whose life was sustained by her work and devotion, embody her in the world. So while the project of raising a boy is fraught with ambivalence and leads inevitably to bitterness, it is the only project that allows a woman to be -- to be through her son, to live through her son.”

And so the GamePlan Begins

in the past few days, I have been making a TO DO LIST...just to give my life a little bit of direction...every day, that will be my guide...every day, I will check one day accomplished from the plan...just to keep me busy for a while...now, I am checking one task done...and so the game begins!

here i am working the kickass face! that's whole lotta attitude ladies!!!

Esep Esep

okay pala yun, pag minsan binigay mo lahat lahat sa relationship, okay din pala. kahit na anu pa man kahihinatnan nun, wala kang talo...kase pag talagang ginawa mo na lahat lahat...mas madali na lang mag move on...sa simula, magagalit ka. mas pipiliin mong magalit kesa maawa sa sarili mo. kakanta ka ng irreplaceable ni beyonce saka if I were a Boy. Eventually, kakanta ka na lang ng mga uplifting songs...then pag napag isip isip mo, di pwedeng ganun ganun lang, huhugutin mo celfone mo at magtetext ng kung anu ano, maglalasing, magwawala, magkakalat, masusuka, magsasayaw, magwawala ulit at saka ka na mapapagod...once na napagod ka na at wala ka ng mahugot , amuubusan ka na ng rason na magwala pa...paunti unti, babalik ka sa dati mong sarili, gagampanan mo yung daily chores mo, yung pang araw araw na ikaw...kahit na maiisip mo siya, okay pa din kase binigyan ka niya ng kalayaan na makilala ang hangganan mo bilang ikaw, malalaman mo kung hanggang saan ang tinagal mo, at kung bakit di mo na pinili pang magtagal dun...andami daming nagpakatanga tanga sa pag ibig, pero mangilan ngilan lang ang nagpakatanga sa buhay...at least, sa buhay ko, di ako mabubuhay sa what if dahil ginawa ko lahat...tanga man yun sa mata ng iba...magmamahal ka na rin lang, itodo mo na...bakit ka mahihiya sa mga pinaggagagawa mo kung yun ang katotohanan ng buhay mo...bakit, pag inisip mo ba sasabihin ng iba, pag pinalakpakan ka nila, garantiya na ba yun na magiging masaya ka? minsan naisip ko, ang poag ibig, andamong kakorinihan, andaming kaeklatan, pero eto lang masasabi ko, kung anuman yung mga magagawa nyo dahil nagmahal kayo, gawin nyo. kahiya hiya man, gawin nyo. kase sa ikli ng buhay na to, pwedeng bukas mawala ka na lang bigla, at least maiisip ng mga taong pinahalagahan mo, "oo, minahal niya ako walang duda"...wala ng mas mahalaga pa sa buhay kungdi yung mga karanasang makukuha mo rito...pare, maikli lang ang buhay. kaya ako ang mga natitirang oras ko sa araw araw, binibigay ko sa mga taong importante sa buhay ko. para kahit anong oras...masasabi nila..."ah si wendy, Nagmaha 'yan, tumodo yan, NABUHAY yan. sa pagbaba at pagtaas ng buhay niya, kasama kami dun, di namin siya makakalimutan..."

Wasted

School is coming up and my problems are driving me nuts...so I've decided to go out...During these times that I seem to just breathe and live to get by, I go out. Not because I am a momma , I have forgotten how to really party. Who cares, I am single now. My life has to be all about ME and my boy. Also, it’s time to have fun fun fun. Last night was the first that of the many fun nights that I intend to keep. I will never pass out for a good drink from now on. I will never make any free invitations and free party to simply pass from now on. Free beer, free food, free company, what else is free nowadays? It’s such a waste to say no to all that aye? It’s time for me to get my life back. And to hell with whoever will judge me here in suburbia(hic). I can't be straight with these thoughts running at the back of my head…argh!. Gone are those days…Life is a party…my life was a party in its own little way…I’ll keep it at that. But for now, I’ll have to get used to the headaches of dealing with hangover…haha!

All Newly Single-d Ladies, Listen up!!!

For all newly single ladies, listen up!

Enough of the pity trip…it’s time to move on.

Do it with me now…

Stop tormenting yourself with the thoughts of the past and explore new possibilities.

Like the bloodsucking scumbags that took you for granted, you have all the right to find happiness in your life…find out how.

An interesting movie line has taught me a useful and meaningful sentence that gave me a reality check:

“Every woman has the exact love life that she wanted.”

I totally agree. During these painful times in our lives, we tend to soak up with all the lovely memories of the past, which makes any breakup more painful to bear. Moving forward means forgetting all that. Of course, you can take with you some memories from which you have learned things, things that will enable you to do better next time, given the chance to have another person to share your wits and shits in life with.

Remember, the breakup is all about you. It may be painful but it is true.

I refuse to believe that this is the end of my love life, I certainly deserve better. Until the time comes that I accept the fact that I made a mistake and learned from it, I will make a perfect ending for my love story.

Stop hating. Holding that up will only cause you to ruin your next relationships. Just learn to live with it. Play a cheesy song, feel your pain, cry if that helps, but please don’t do that forever. Remember, coping with breakups normally takes days to get over with. It’s just a few days wasted in your life, don’t make it waste all the days in your life.

Remember what a beautiful person you are. Remember how an amazing woman you are. You are so wonderful that even the latest scumbag fell for you. He’s just not worth it. And you deserve better so the breakup seems to be meant to happen.

It may take a while but remember, you are an amazing person. You can deal with it.

Let’s cheers to starting an interesting chapter in our lives…Cheers!