Friday, March 13, 2009

Should we Break Up?


This is the most tricky question. It's like asking a person about what could be winning number combination for tomorrow's lotto draw. No one can be considered an expert in answering this question. But honestly, the person asking the question probably knows the answer but simply needed reassurance of her upcoming big decision. But what if the answer was no? Then we should break up, should we not?

Most people would say "No". You should first work on your relationship. Make sure that you are still holding something there, or there must be something there. You need to answer whether or not you still have something to hold on to or some reason to stay; otherwise, please don't go through all the trouble in the first place.

Nothing good in life ever came for free, and that includes relationships. You have to work on your relationship in order for it to be worthwhile, in order for it to work. After you worked on your relationship and did everything that you can to nurture and cherish it, you can take another critical look at where you are going with it.

Perhaps one thing that should not do is this: Call up your partner and discuss your future together. Don't spring the question out of nowhere. Rather lead up to it over a few days. If you don't feel that you can talk openly to your partner like that, then there's the problem. Whatever makes a relationship without open communication lines?

First work on your relationship before making any decision about its future. That way, you can trust yourself to make the right decision

How Do You Know If Your Long Distance Partner is Worth It?


Define worth it?

What is considered "worth it" for one person may not be to another. So what exactly is worth it? In this case, what is considered "worth it" refers to the long distance relationship and everything that goes with it. It does not just involve the two person in the relationship but also their friends, family, co-workers and everybody that regularly mingle with. Most of them is probably thinking what a waste of time a long distance relationship is. But actually, deciding on a long distance relationship is deciding on different way of life. It may not be ideal but for those of us that are in it, it obviously has to be worth it to go through all the trouble.

What are your long term goals?

What are your long term goals for your relationship? Where do you think is the relationship going within the next few years? If you see a slightest hope of a happy future with it, then the relationship isn't a waste of time, you guys will find a way to make distance seem to be nonexistent, none at all. Do you see yourself getting married to this person eventually? Or should you choose not to believe in marriage, do you see this person as your life partner, with whom you want to settle down and raise a family?

If you answered yes to that question, then you have your answer. This person is your life partner, and you would be silly to let this relationship die. What if I'm uncertain or answered no?

Should we break up?


What if your answer was a clear and definite NO? What if your answer was that you're uncertain, or maybe your answer was an unconvincing no. Then the next question would be: Why are you not convinced of your relationship with this person? Whatever made you stick too long in this relationship anyway? Do you have trust issues? Do you feel unsure about your feelings towards the person at the other end of the relationship? Perhaps you don't have problems like that, but certainly are worried about your relationship as a whole.

If you're ever in doubt, have your tried asking yourself why you are in doubt. You probably have the answers but you refuse to see, to hear and comprehend whatever it is for it might equate to loss and pain. Maybe your partner has broken your trust in the past. Or maybe, just maybe, the problems are simply all in your mind and that your doubts may just be unfounded.

However, never underestimate the power of suggestion. Every day, we are bombarded by images and stories of unfaithful people in movies, on TV and in magazines. Deep down, we may know it's not really like that, but unfortunately, our logical thoughts can easily get overwhelmed.

Try posting a question about long distance relationships on any open forum. Surely, half the people will tell you it can never work. Still, when you hear that negative message, there is some part of you that can easily throw logical reasoning out of the window and take the distorted opinion of someone else as fact.

So what should you actually do when you're uncertain, or if you answered no? I think the fact that you are in a relationship with this person, only goes to show that there must be something about him or her that attracted you in the first place. And the fact that you're in a long distance relationship, probably one of the most difficult things a relationship can be in, shows me even more that you have something that you feel is worth preserving.

First take a critical look at your own situation, and then you can get to the question you wanted to ask all along: Should we break up?

A wise decision would be"Don't break up - yet"

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Becoming the Big Sister


Hello guys...I am sorry I have not much interesting things to say lately. However, let me share something that I have realized today. Perhaps being the eldest in my 'academic' family has its advantages. You see, I realized that more and more of my classmates are seeking my help or asking for my opinion on a variety of topics. Since the end of the semester is two weeks from now, we are all bombarded with a lot of paper work (research paper, reaction papers and more papers). This afternoon, I got the the biggest surprise when a classmate of mine asked me for some advise on a very personal and very sensitive matter. Being a little 'bit' older than my classmates, I became used to the everyday questions thrown at me but never was I flattered until that question that kind of question was thrown at me. That made me realize that I am quite of an importance to some people. From the way they look to the assignments on certain subjects, I never realized that my opinion mattered to the people who are closely becoming the constant figures of my everyday life. No matter how I avoid getting into friendships with my 'new' friends, I can't help myself but be drawn to their immaturity because I see myself in them through my awkward, confused and emotionally struggling years. I felt very much of value of a Big Sister- respected and listened to even though I am not sure if what I am saying is absolutely right. On the outside, I may be seen as a very emotionally stable person but I also have my own personal struggles. I just can't think of a thing for them to give their trust to my words or to whatever my opinion would be while I am in constant battle with my low self-esteem.

during the past years, my experiences made me an entirely different person. With everything that I have gone through, I kind of repressed all of my bad memories as my way to survive. I even forgot when was the last time I ever cried real tears. It seems that I have lost feelings for my pains. So I realized, maybe that is what turned myself into stone. Honestly, as long as my family, especially NJ, is by my side, I can't be shattered. I just turned into a stone, lacking personal emotion. Perhaps that may be because I am real tired, physically and emotionally. I have exhausted decades-worth of emotions, pain and sufferings in just few years and so I am left with nothing today. Perhaps having the constant ability to talk as an outsider and an observer made my words that believable for some people-matter-of-factly words rather than emotion-based words...maybe that's the answer...or maybe NOT.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

An Interesting Version of World History...Bikolano Style

A friend of mine asked me to do a research on Bikol literature. Little did I know that such as task would try everything I know on searching for something or some information in the internet. When I said everything, I meant everything. I did not realize that the information about Bikol literature in the internet is very limited...so i tried to compile everything that I managed to collect here in my myDAILYusi...I hope somebody would find use of them... On the second thought, I will spare you of the trouble of going through my research. Instead, I am posting the best material...I hope you guys enjoy this piece...

Thousands and thousands of years ago, there was a time when the space occupied by the universe was vacant. The moon, the sun, and the starts, and the earth were conspicuous by their absence. Only the vast expanse of water and the sky above it could be seen. The kingdom of the sky was under the rule of the great god Languit while the water was under the sovereignty of the god Tubigan.

Languit has a daughter called Dagat, the Sea, who became the wife of Paros, the wind, who was the son of Tubigan.

Four children were born to Dagat and Paros, three of whom were boys called Daga, Aldao, and Bulan, and one girl named Bitoon.

Daga, a strong man, possessed a body of rock; Aldao, a jolly fellow, had a body of gold; Bulan, a copper-made man, was a weakling; while the beautiful Bitoon was made of pure silver.
After the death of the father Paros, Daga being the oldest son succeeded the control of the winds. Soon after, Dagat, the mother died, leaving the children under the care of the grandparents Languit and Tubigan.

After assuming the control of the winds, Dagat became arrogant and ambitious, desiring to gain more power, so he induced his younger brother to attack the kingdom of Languit. At first they refused; at Daga’s anger, Bulan and Aldao were constrained to join Daga in his plot.

Preparations were made and when everything was ready, they set out on their expedition and began to attack the gates of the sky. Failing to open the gates, Daga let loose of the winds in all directions so that the gate was destroyed and the brothers succeeded in gaining entrance. But they were met by the enraged go Languit who sent out three bolts of lightning after them. All of them were struck by the lightning. The copper body of Bulan melted into a ball and so the golden body of Aldao. Daga’s body fell into the sea and became what is now the earth.

Their sister Bitoon, on discovering the absence of her brothers, went out to seek for them. But upon meeting the enraged god Languit, Bitoon was struck also by another bolt of lightning which broke her body into many pieces.

Then Languit descended from the sky ad called Tubigan and accused him of helping their grandson in their attack on his kingdom. But Tubigan defended himself saying he has no knowledge about the attack for he was asleep far down into the sea. Tubigan succeeded in pacifying Languit and the two regretted and wept the loss of their grandchildren. Since they could not revive them, they gave to each body a light.
Thus, the body of Bulan became the moon, Aldao became the sun, and the beautiful Bitoon became the stars in the heaven. But to Daga they did not give light and his body gave rise to the land on earth.
Tubigan then planted a seed which grew up into a bamboo tree. From one of its branches came a man and a woman, who became the first parents of the human race. Three children were born to them. One called Maisog invented a fish trap. One day he caught a very big and grotesque looking whale that he thought it was a god, so he ordered his people to worship it. The people gathered around and began to pray; but no sooner had they begun when gods from the sky appeared and commanded Maisog to throw the whale into the water and worship no one but the gods. But Maisog was not afraid and defied the gods. Languit, the king of the sky, struck Maisog with a lightning and stunned him. Then he scattered the people over the earth as a punishment. In this way, the earth was peopled.
Maisog’s body was blackened by the lightning and all his descendants are black. But Maisog’s first son was carried to the north and became the parent of the white people. His other children were brought to the south were the sun is so hot that it scorched their bodies so all their people were of brown color. The other people were carried to the east where they had to feed on clay due to scarcity on food. Because of this diet, their descendants became of yellow color.
In this way, the earth came into being.


Source: Rosario Bonto, “Bikol Folklore,” in H. Otley Beyer, Ethnography of the Bikol People, Vol.II, Paper No65, pp. 1-3

At last...


I feel very much relieved right now that my 2-semester community service class has finally ended. Five hours ago, I felt so tired and seething hot due to the pending summer season (God let me have enough budget for ice cream and halo-halo!!!)…That was after our class has finally ended the agony of sacrificing my Saturdays, waking very early to sit around for hours listening to blah or going somewhere to sweep the streets. Those days are gone now baby!!! Hello to waking up late during Saturday mornings…hello to movie marathons…hello to fun times…with our Monday to Thursday class-hello long weekends!!! …most of all, hello to more writing hours!!!

I can’t think of a song that best complements my satisfaction right now but that song that Beyonce sang for the inauguration ball of President Obama so I also posted a matching picture to complete the effect…

Sunday, February 8, 2009

My little Boy is growing too Fast in my eyes

Four years ago, I was preparing for the coming of a son that I never wanted at first. Admittedly, I was reluctant to face the responsibilities of being a parent, fearing that I would become the worst parent that ever lived in this world...the pressure is there to make everything right because as a parent, you will mold your child's personality, education...basically everything that he will ever become...so just imagine an unprepared messed up mother-to-be facing that...Crazy!!!


fast forward to three years later, I realized that being a parent isn't so bad at all. You just continue doing great things for your child and you will be alright...After all, there's no better parent for your child or your child-to-be but you. It is a gift of life that will teach so many things...inexplicable things that in the long run, will make you whole...Just imagine the power you have, being responsible in creating a child that you yourself would want to be.










At a late breakfast yesterday, I have taken this photo...it just reminded me what Sundays are supposed to be, bonding with family...He is my only family, a family I am nurturing single-handedly. It's just so peaceful to see simple joys in those eyes...makes me wonder of more years looking through those eyes, being happy staying with the parent or mother that he made me become.



I am leaving you with a candid picture of my son and my father...this would be surely be a nice memory lane photo in the future...

Monday, February 2, 2009

Unlucky days


Sometimes, things happen with absolutely no comprehensible reason. Sometimes, when you push your self too hard to accomplish things, all the preparations and troubles don’t pay. Sometimes, we set up expectations with which we feel that we can possibly achieve but end up empty handed, disappointed and frustrated with our own selves. But didn’t we realize that we are actually pushing ourselves too hard that we fail to meet our expectations?

Even the greatest performer had his dark times and experienced failures and defeats numerous times. Even the greatest artist, a master, at one point of his life, experienced being outshined by an up and coming newbie artist. The pain of life is that no matter how you prepared yourself to go to battle, there is still room for failure. No matter you how made it certain that you have absolutely have no chance of losing a game; you surprise yourself being left out as the sore loser. These are just some of the pains that happen in everyday life. There are times when everything you do, every idea that you contribute and everything you touch works. Of course, there are also some ‘unlucky days’ to complement your fate and make your life balanced. However, these ‘unlucky days’ surely come in perfect timing. They come when we needed ‘luck’ most. They come in times when we get too prepared to face challenges and conflicts that we stake our life and pride on. They usually come in just perfect timing when you are most vulnerable.

After all the frustrations left by our ‘unlucky days’, we just need to think back and reflect that it is only a day of our life. We surely need to lose sometimes to win more. We need to experience how it feels like losing or being on the other side of happiness, so we continually enjoy the simple joys in life. After all, these ‘unlucky days are just days in the years and decades of the lifetime that you still have to live on. These are just 24 or more hours taken away from your glory. Through these days, we are usually taught a simple yet valuable lesson. That is life begets meaning in times of unexpected crises. Character is tested by life’s struggles. And winners were once losers, an experience which made them strive harder to not lose anymore.

Sometimes, we are our greatest critic. Sometimes, our own self is the hardest to please when it comes to our skills, talents or achievements. Perhaps we are taking life way to seriously that way and we need to loosen up and let off the strain that makes everything so stiff. We are here to live life and make it like heaven and not to take in all the pressure and make life like hell. Where’s the fun in always winning anyway? These ‘unlucky days’ make the journey to winning worthwhile…makes it more challenging…makes it more fulfilling.