Sink or Swim

Sometimes, it happens that I just go blank in the middle of conversations. Not that I am ignoring the people talking with me, it’s just that sometimes out of the blue, interesting thoughts and ideas cross my mind and I needed to take a mind note. Of course, I would just brush it off with “sorry, what was that again?” or “don’t mind me, go on…” 

Lately, I do get a lot of that “blank” mode. Perhaps it comes with the excitement, or rather anxiety, of finally graduating from school. I always remind myself that this is just a start because I intend be busy about many things. I guess I am just consoling myself that way, thinking of all the lost times I had in building something out of myself. But then enough of the pity party, this is my big opportunity. This is what I have long been waiting for. Gotta suck it all up and go on. 

Funny, at this point, I shouldn’t be feeling this way. It’s high school all over again. As I stop and think of plans and ideas, I do get excited I can almost taste them all. But then again, I wonder if I can ever pull it off. Then my alter ego would say, “but of course my dear, you’ve come a long way! This is just but one thing you have skipped and turned back to. ” --- then I get excited, thinking and wondering and looking forward to post-grad life all over again.